Straight Black Marriage Will Make You White and Gay

Or something.

It is no secret
that resistance to homosexuality is highest among the black population
(though probably other ethnic minorities are close contenders). I fear
that it will be harder than usual to persuade black men of the
obligation to marry the mother of their children if the inevitable
media saturation coverage associates marriage with homosexuals. Is the
availability of homosexual marriage a valid reason to shun the
institution? No, but that doesn’t make the reaction any less likely.

What
are the chances that gay marriage would further doom marriage among
blacks? I don’t know. Again, if someone can persuade me that the
chances are zero, then I would be much more sanguine. But anything more
than zero, I am reluctant to risk.

My favorite comment:

I’ve figured it out.

These people have 12 sided dice. They roll three of them to come up with these ridiculous stories.

“Okay, I got minority issues, personal responsibility, and gays! How do I tie this all together?”

It’s like a new failboat party game.

A.

8 thoughts on “Straight Black Marriage Will Make You White and Gay

  1. …some day we will look back on this as the moment when we should have realized that satire was finally, truly dead and that The Onion’s days were numbered…

  2. paul says:

    Nah, the onion still does it better, if not as outlandishly. And here I thought black men were shunning marriage because “defense of marriage” was associated with racist white jerkwads.

  3. pansypoo says:

    hasn’t marriage been restricted to straights for decades?
    i don’t think gay marriage is an issue in the hood. maybe no jobs…

  4. self exile says:

    Don’t worry, they will Bush it up.

  5. +1 geek point for using ’12-sided dice’.

  6. missy says:

    So a middle-aged white woman knows best how gay marriage will affect the attitudes of young black men?
    I think I’ll ask the Pope his opinion on my PMS symptoms first.

  7. Interrobang says:

    Maybe anxious racist white people should stop looking at “black men” as a monolithic whole. And while they’re at it, they should stop pushing marriage as the be-all and end-all of relationships. Shit, I understand why poor people in uncertain circumstances don’t get married — it costs a fucking fortune, and it costs an even bigger fucking fortune to get out of a legal marriage once you’ve been suckered into it in the first place.
    Oh, yeah, and if the same anxious racist white people would stop pushing a 1950s ideational version of marriage on all of us as the ideal, divorces would be cheaper and easier (not that they’re not cheaper and easier than they used to be, but still), and poor people in uncertain circumstances would be less shy of getting married in the first place.
    Further, this married/non-married by economic status split has historicallyalways been true — marriage was almost always a privilege of the upper and moneyed middle classes, while everyone else just kind of shacked up.

  8. BuggyQ says:

    Heh, idiosynchronic. I wonder what the saving throw against stupid wingnut banality is?

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