Republican spokesperson. File photo.
You know, I get that politicians (and everyfuckingbody else) lie. I understand that. But will there come a point when the Republican edifice of lies comes crashing down, unable to support its own contradictions?
For forty years now, they’ve vilified Ted Kennedy as an America-hatin’ far-left liberal wackaloon. I’m sure he took those slings and arrows with great pride. But now they’re trying to paint him as this DLC-esque moderate, who compromised on everything? Doesn’t that cause a PC Load Letter jam in somebody’s brain? It’s not that they suddenly discoveredde mortuis nil nisi bonum dicendum est, you know. No, they’re trying to make Ted Kennedy a conservative hero. Just like they’ve tried to do with FDR, and MLK, and anyone else who ever said “You know what? The status quo is pretty shitty for a lot of people. Let’s do something about that.” You’ve got your heroes, asshole. When Reagan died, none of us ran around praising his commitment to liberal values and compromise.
I know it’s been said that they use1984 as a playbook rather than a cautionary tale, but this “We have always been at war with Eastasia” stuff is fucking amazing. And not in a good way.
Seriously, this country needs a conservative opposition party. I don’t mean a party of recalcitrant racists, or fetus fetishizers, or deregulation dipshits, or whatever other alliterative terms you could come up with to describe the current GOP. No. I mean that this country needs a sensible, moderate, conservative party that is boring but useful. Oh, and having it grounded in fucking reality would be nice.
What we’ve got here, other than a failure to communicate, is a crazed bunch of pathological liars who careen from one crazy-ass position to the next and don’t even try to stitch the falsehoods into some sort of cohesive narrative.
But they’re very serious! Oh yes. And calling them a bunch of gawping, lunatic, simpleton liars would just be evidence of bias.
Man, we are so fucked in this country.