Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome back to the booster, where we agree that the world likely ended in 1994…

– Made a strange discovery this week: For years, I couldn’t
remember the name of the cartoon in which there was a post-apocalyptic Earth in
which you had two characters named Ariel and Ookla. The other day, someone
posted a link to this on Facebook, which helped me figure out it was “Thundarr
the Barbarian.” If that’s not a weird enough moment, I went to IMDB and found
out that Thundarr was voiced by Robert Ridgley, who played the Colonel in
“Boogie Nights.” This gives things a whole new meaning when Thundarr yells
“Ariel! Ookla! Ride!”

– Last week was an interesting one during a round: Three
judge panel and we split 2-1, for the negative side. The guy who was the “1” is
your prototypical guy who needs to get laid. He’s probably one year out of
high school, still thinks he’s debating and is of the opinion that he’s smarter than
anyone else. The woman on the panel and I saw the same thing, namely, the affirmative
didn’t undermine enough of the negative attacks to hold the fort. The guy,
however, in disclosing his decision voted on some bizarre theory argument that
a) didn’t make sense, b) got muddled in the middle of the round and c) wasn’t
called a voter by either team. In leaving, the guy was glaring at us and said,
“If you UNDERSTOOD things better, this round would have gone the other way.” I
replied that if the woman and I both saw the same thing, obviously we weren’t
out in left field on this. I also noted that we didn’t “squirrel” (vote in the
minority on a technicality). “Well, sometimes you need to squirrel when
everyone else is in error,” he sniffed.
Without missing a beat, the woman piped up with, “Or when you’re a
horse’s ass.” Have I mentioned how much I love debate?

– From the “Can’t we get more creative?” file: Apparently
“You Lie!” has become the new “yada yada yada” or “Where’s the beef?”
Seriously, are people even trying any more?

Jesus, Mr. Tyree, try setting the bar a little LOWER, why

– From the “Seth Rogan: Surgeon General” department: Apparently,
there is a movement afoot to convince people that “pulling out” is an effective
form of birth control. OK, I’m as big of a fan as anyone of Mr. Miyagi’s “best
way to avoid punch is to no be there” school of thought, but the last time
anything that started in a bar had the level of concentration required
to make withdrawal an effective methodwas here. I imaginethis kind of thing
going on
if you’re practicing the old “pull and pray” method. In reading
through the lit on this, there is a “hey it’s better than nothing” sense about yanking before cranking.
Sure, that’s probably true, but that’d be like saying “if a cactus happens to be near by, insert that
into your partner’s vagina and it will act as a more effective barrier than not
using anything.” Gimme a break.

– Thetwobest headlines I didn’t have to make up.

– And finally, if you didn’t have ENOUGH reasons to hate St.
Louis sports, here you go…

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.


6 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. YOU LIE ! (translation – I am very happy that you are celebrating your one year anniversary and hope that your tenure continues for a long, long time).
    Thundar’s world was trashed in 1994? Ouch !
    But most of all, I can’t figure out why advocating a troop withdrawal should be the method of choice. Withdrawing would have most of the same ethical / religious issues as a condom. And as indicated in the article, lack the potential disease suppression and problems with aim.

  2. When I was in the game, a ‘squirrel’ was a bizarre affirmative plan that would win, because while bogus, it was also unanticipated, and therefore most negs couldn’t take it out. They were always one-week wonders, because if you had time to think, your cat could blow them up.
    (My favorite was in ’91-92 and involved police officers giving teddy bears to homeless people.)
    Been a while though. When did it begin to refer to a kind of judge/judging?

  3. I was raised on St. Louis sports and followed the Football Cardinals until 1984, when Neil O’Donahue’s wide right field goal attempt in the last game of the year against the New York Giants just broke my spirit one time too many. I still pulled for the Cardinals and Kurt Warner in the Superbowl last year. I supported the Rams as soon as they moved to St. Louis, and Warner and the Greatest Show on Turf is one of my great sports memories. Having said all that, if Fat Bastard is allowed to be any part of the St. Louis football franchise, I will sell every piece of Rams gear I have and actively root for the continued ineptitude of the team as well as their eventual departure from St. Louis. In other words, I will hope for Fat Bastard’s failure as an owner as much as he has hoped for America to fail since last November.

  4. I LOVED Thundar!
    Ookla.Ariel ride HARD!
    The guy who did the voice also did a bunch of other voices Tarzan and Flash Gordon for cartoons.
    BTW, I do a great Thundar impression.

  5. Saw Thundarr on the Boomerang channel they had on at a Southwest Airlines gate in Phoenix this past summer. Not Hanna-Barbera’s best. Dark and dank atmosphere, badly rendered…it was like a messy apocalypse right there before your eyes, artistically…but hey, it was all about the monsters and the babe on the horse. Did I have a lot of explaining to do to my six-year-old…

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