Get Motivated

As you may have noticed, I’m not big on uplift: sappy greeting cards leave me cold and I avoid any movie that’s advertised as a “feel good” film. I’ve also never understood the whole motivational speaking seminar thing. Dale Carnegie may have made friends and influenced people but that greasy Rotarian bastard left me cold.

The spirit of Dale Fucking Carnegie is still abroad in the land: disgraced former PresidentGeorge W. Bush got on his hind legs yesterday and delivered a “motivational” speech in Dallas.Organizers are glad to have President Beavis in Texas but not outside of the Lone Star state. Shrub no longer travels very well but, apparently, his tales of lying his way into unnecessary wars, cutting taxes on fat cats and his current life of picking up Barney’s shit is inspirational to Texans. I suspect President Obama can identify with the last bit: much of his job involves picking up shit that President Beavis left behind; not to mention all the chewed rugs in the Veep’s office. Joe Biden may not be housebroken but at least he’s not rabid…

The Rachel Maddow Show has been all over this story and dispatched the zany and madcap Kent Jones to cover the event. I envy Kent: I wish I had his job and, more importantly, his full head of hair:


5 thoughts on “Get Motivated

  1. virgotex says:

    I love the comment that he was able to string together some coherent sentences. To be motivated by just that, you had to have some pretty low expectations going in.

  2. darrelplant says:

    Check out Barbara Ehrenreich’s new bookBright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America for more on this theme.
    Man, I’m justfull of product promotion today!

  3. pansypoo says:

    i think those people REEEEEEELY need SOMETHING.

  4. montag says:

    Ah, well, Bush is as good a choice as any for such hucksterism. After all, he’s living proof that with enough money and bullshit, mediocrity and moral turpitude can, indeed, rise to the top.
    Which can, of course, be reductively rendered: shit floats.
    I just didn’t think that he’d turn intoShagpoke Whipple quite so soon after leaving office…

  5. virgotex says:

    Again, Colbert gets the last word: Bush is an amazing motivator. Look at all the people he motivated to vote for Barack Obama.

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