He Hit the Share Button by Accident, Guys


Seriously, you guys.You guys, seriously:

I intended to include the wording ‘we would use votes and not bullets’
(but) hit the share button by accident before I finished and decided to
leave it, thinking it would not be taken in a literal sense. I’m sorry
if I confused anyone.

This is a classic case of someone needing a press secretary kind of like my friend B’s daughter, who at the age of six used to turn to her mother in restaurants and say, in a tone not unlike that of General Patton addressing the troops: “STOP TALKING!”

You know, for all the wanking that goes on over how modern technology is turning our kids into porn stars and teenagers don’t know how to refrain from posting they titties all over the place because they no longer value privacy and decency and long skirts, it seems every other week there’s some allegedly adult knob-gobbler who fucks himself in the ass over the Internet, and then issues the stupidest apology on the planet.

I mean, if you hit the send button by accident, why not delete it? It’s not like knitting a sweater, where if you miss a stitch in there you have to pull the whole thing apart and start over. You made a not-very-funny oldsauce joke on The FaceSpace. People rightly called you a douchecanoe. And so you decided that instead of either apologizing and taking it down, or standing by it and leaving it up, you would puss out completely and do this half-ass thing where it was an accident, but only because mean people took you talking about shooting them so totally the wrong way.



6 thoughts on “He Hit the Share Button by Accident, Guys

  1. You remember of course the quotes that I used to post from the hosts of RW radio in SF. They regularly talked about hanging liberals.
    When I finally made it cost them money they started going into the various dodges like, “I was saying it in a metaphorical sense.” On the other hand, one host stood by his words. He continued to broadcast here in the SF bay area. Why? Because the liberal PD felt it necessary to stand up for the hosts “free speech” on broadcast radio. The same broadcast radio that already was regulated for obscenity and indecency. Apparently calling for the death of 80 percent of the people in your listening audience is just dandy because there are no fines.
    Of course when the host demanded more money he got canned.
    I wish more people would learn from what I did. They can say any kind of stupid, violent thing they want, but they also need to expect that there will be consequences in “the marketplace.” At least if I have anything to do with it. You don’t causally joke or talk about killing my friends.

  2. Uh, if he hit the send by mistake and really didn’t mean that, why didn’t he, as you suggested, edit or delete his comment.
    And why didn’t he initially say that he hit the send button by mistake instead of making other excuses first?

  3. And why didn’t he initially say that he hit the send button…?
    I realize you’re asking this rhetorically, but just because…the answer of course is that he’s a lying sack of shit.
    Funny how people like that tend to lie so casually…and easily. If I remember right, the Bush administration likewise couldn’t resist lying pretty much for the sake of lying (e.g., the “trashed West Wing,” and/or the silliness regarding whether or not they fooled a British Airways jet on a “secret” Shrub visit to Baghdad)…Down here I remember a bureaucrat in the State Legislative Branch claimed he was trying to delete a racy email as opposed to forwarding it to a list of friends. Of course, he erred and forwarded the email to the entire Exchange list.
    I don’t know if an initial apology would have saved him, but the initial lie certainly made it easier for the State Senate to request his resignation…

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