Seriously, you guys.You guys, seriously:
I intended to include the wording ‘we would use votes and not bullets’
(but) hit the share button by accident before I finished and decided to
leave it, thinking it would not be taken in a literal sense. I’m sorry
if I confused anyone.
This is a classic case of someone needing a press secretary kind of like my friend B’s daughter, who at the age of six used to turn to her mother in restaurants and say, in a tone not unlike that of General Patton addressing the troops: “STOP TALKING!”
You know, for all the wanking that goes on over how modern technology is turning our kids into porn stars and teenagers don’t know how to refrain from posting they titties all over the place because they no longer value privacy and decency and long skirts, it seems every other week there’s some allegedly adult knob-gobbler who fucks himself in the ass over the Internet, and then issues the stupidest apology on the planet.
I mean, if you hit the send button by accident, why not delete it? It’s not like knitting a sweater, where if you miss a stitch in there you have to pull the whole thing apart and start over. You made a not-very-funny oldsauce joke on The FaceSpace. People rightly called you a douchecanoe. And so you decided that instead of either apologizing and taking it down, or standing by it and leaving it up, you would puss out completely and do this half-ass thing where it was an accident, but only because mean people took you talking about shooting them so totally the wrong way.