Let Me Be Blunt, Boehner (R-BP): FUCK THAT NOISE

Sorry, Mom. I know you don’t like it when I say fuck so much buthonestly, tell me a better word:

In layman’s jargon, the ‘clean up’ may sound like it applies to
everything but it doesn’t. There’s the physical removal of the oil and
then there’s liability for the damages the spill created — like
destroying property, killing certain fisheries, closing a port, etc. As
you’d expect, there’s probably an order of magnitude difference between
the price tag for the first and the second. And that’s what this all
comes down to.
No one disagrees that BP is on the line for the clean up. And the
numbers tossed around for that job are in the billion or two billion
range. The question is whether they have the liability for the damage.
Under current law, their liability for the damages are capped at $75
million, in other words, virtually nothing compared to the true scale
of the liability.

Um. FUCK NO. Did you hear me, in the back there? FUCK NO. Just wanted to make that clear. No way do they get off with $75 million. That’s fucking pathetic. That’s a complete and total insult to everyone who’s ever fished a single meal out of the water now covered in sludge.

Now, I’d like $75 million, so that I could buy Barbados and just drink for the rest of my life, and it’s a lot of money, for those purposes, but it’s not a lot of money to BP. This is a company that, last year, made a$14 billion profit, in the worst economy in the last 70 years. Fourteen BILLION, and that’s theirprofit. That’s how much they have sitting around after all their expenses are paid. That’s how much they have to roll around in, to swim in like Scrooge McFuckingDuck. So while $75 million might be my wildest dream come true, it’s basically what BP spends every week on handjobs and blow.

No way, for ruining an entire coast, do they get off with $75 million. That video Adrastos put up a couple weeks back:Can you give me back my heritage? Can you give me back my profession, my identity, my bedrock? Can you give me back the way of life I’ve known, the only way of life I’ve ever known, the legacy I had planned to pass on to my children? Can your $75 million give me back the world I knew?

If not, well, then, it’s not enough. And tothose like John Fucking Boehner who want to mouth about the right of business to do as it pleases or whatever the fucking fuck he’s on about right now, great American Galt-going or some shit, I say if they didn’t want to pay bazillions in damages to everyone who’s ever so much as breathed the air in the Gulf of Mexico, well, they shouldn’t have drilled a fucking oil well there. God. It’s not like we sent them down there and put guns to their heads and made them trash the place. They chose to do so, despiteample evidence they were doing it fast, cheap and out of control. This wasn’t some act of God. There was black gold under the ocean floor and they wanted it and they wanted it right away. SO NOW THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

The reason these companies and their store-bought whores in Congress fight so hard for liability caps and limits on jury awards and all the other bullshit erected to keep pain from being inflicted upon them is that money is the only thing that matters to them. Money is the only consequence they care about. So far, the American public hasn’t been focused enough on their fuckups to impose the kinds of consequences they would see in their balance sheets, but our national ADD notwithstanding, it will begin to sink in in Peoria how screwed we are and when people start looking for someone to blame, it would be downright mean not to offer them BP’s corporate throat.

They have to be HURT. And I’m sorry if this is rude, or mean, or class warfare, or upsetting Boehner’s tanning schedule, or whatever, but … fuck it, I’m not sorry. Fuck BP. They deservewhatever whoopass Congress can dish out. And to any chickenass Democrats thinking about listening to Boehner, and that includes you, Mr. President, there is absolutely no way running on a platform of FUCK BP IN ITS EAR is a loser in the fall. Absolutely no way.

This is gonna be one of those elections where whoever bones corporate America hardest in the ass gets all the votes. I dunno if anybody in the White House has noticed, but the earth is caving in, economically speaking (and HELLMOUTH) and pretty much everybody’s up for some aristocrat-beheading. (Symbolically, please; don’t e-mail me.) You can either lead the mob with your own torch and pitchfork or get trampled by it as it runs by. Right now it’s on the way to BP’s castle gates. Trust me, you don’t want it at yours.

A.

16 thoughts on “Let Me Be Blunt, Boehner (R-BP): FUCK THAT NOISE

  1. This may be an inconvenient time to mention this, but Joe & Jane American Taxpayer gave BP$4.6 billion over the past 10 years just to fuel our Great Glorious American Military. Yes that’s right, we currently spend millions of dollars buying fuel from BP to keep our tanks and fighter jets rolling so that we can protect BP’s access to oil in the Middle East.
    Neat how that work, eh?
    So to those wondering why the U.S. hasn’t revoked lease agreements and drilling contracts in the Gulf I suspect it’s because we really need their fuel to keep our military adventures juiced up.
    Pretty sad how all of this shit is connected ain’t it?

  2. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    Then end the goddamned pointless wars, bring our soldiers & equipment home…!
    To the Wond’rous Athenae – that is the most awesome and applicable rant EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
    Having been in New Orleans this past weekend and taken part in the Krewe of Dead Pelicans’ procession through the arts district – there is no love lost on bp/halliburton/transocean/cameron there!
    FUCK the MOTHER (Earth) FUCKERS!!!

  3. virgotex says:

    Prison terms.

  4. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    And not the cushy white-collar Club Fed prison, either! People have DIED, livelihoods have been either compromised for a while or outright destroyed, people are getting sick and will be getting sicker.
    These fuckmooks need to feel the tremble of the death penalty on the table. Lessons must be learned. Regulations MUST be enforced/strengthened – THIS.MUST.NOT.HAPPEN.AGAIN. It didn’t have to happen in the first place.

  5. MapleStreet says:

    When BP Bob (was it Olbermann that made the connection with Baghdad Bob?) said that BP would pay for everything, right away it was obvious that 1) there was no way possible to pay for “everything” 2) consequently that was a really stupid statement meant to be some sort of soothing platitude and 3)that there would be a wide chasm between what BP eventually decided were legitimate expenses and what the people thought were legitimate. (to be terse, BP would have a very limited worldview).
    Now if BP as a corporation can pilage the US ecology, the ecology of untold number of island nations, destroy the wildlife (thereby stealing the genetic heritage), how come they can’t be hauled into international court?
    And as the corporation has done this, what in our experience makes us (or SCOTUS) think unlimited funding of elections from corporations is a good idea?

  6. scout says:

    Additionally a message needs to be sent or every other freaking oil company watching this all so closely right now will decide if there’s no threat of pain and punishment then they will all do it fast, cheap and out of control in the future

  7. jezebel says:

    Preach it, sister.
    You give words to righteous outrage like no one I’ve ever seen.

  8. pansypoo says:

    tell the teabaggers boner wants to BAILOUT BP.

  9. Din LeBlanc says:

    I sure miss Ashley Morris. This crap is tailor-made for him. FYYFF!!!! (“Down in the Treme, just me and my bebe, we’re all going crazy…)

  10. liprap says:

    Amen. Selah.

  11. gene214 says:

    What BP did is indicative of the mode of thinking prevalent among that peculiar class of sociopath called the corporate CEO. We’ve seen this at work in the manufacturing sector: “Defective toys with poisonous paint? No worries. We’re rakin’ in so much dough re mi by not having to pay workers a decent wage and benefits, what’s a few lawsuits? Chump change” “What’s that,you say? The cars we make have defective accelerators, resulting in fiery car crashes? Aww, that is extremely rare. We’ll just pay off the few lawsuits. After all, the bottom line is still pretty freakin’ awesome this quarter. Bonuses for all executive level employees!” Of course, what always, and I do mean always, happens is, when things turn to shit, the disasters that result are always worse than “anyone could have predicted” by several orders of magnitude(Despite the fact that the resulting damage was, in fact, very predictable to anyone with an IQ above that of your average crowbar). When this happens, these Masters of the Universe, these champions of the free market, think nothing of running, hat in hand, to their lapdogs in Washington, pleading “Please, evil, intrusive government – please bail us out so that we can get to work on our next disaster. All we need in about a trillion – to cover our poor, impoverished CEO’s multimillion dollar bonuses, our multi-million dollar NASCAR, Golf Tournament, and soccer team endorsements and, oh yeah, a million or two to payoff those peasants whose lives we’ve completely and permanently fucked. Come on, help us out will ya? You owe us! And after you give us the money, fuck off, will ya!”

  12. mothra says:

    Yet, what kills me is that there are Americans out there who still defend big oil and drilling. WTF is wrong with those people? No, really. WTF?

  13. hoppy says:

    I share the desire for revenge on BP, but there is a fly in that ointment. We have a regulatory agency set up to keep oil companies honest when they work in our world. It is a well proven fact that all corporations value profits and CEO compensation miles above anything else, the former being their legally required goal. So, only regulation can stand between the world and utter destruction when corporations are involved.
    Part of the process by which regulating it done is to require voluminous reports on what can go wrong, how it will be prevented from going wrong, and what will be done if it still goes wrong. Those reports were required of BP, and were submitted. However, it has become obvious that no one in the regulatory agency ever read the reports. That is the case because the BP report was filled with references to environmental issues germane to Alaska, but utterly out of place for the Gulf. The reports stated that BP’s expert adviser in case things went wrong was a guy who had been dead for 5 years. And, much of the potential for damage if a failure occurred was described as impossible – i.e. any oil reaching the beaches from 48 miles off shore.
    I suspect no court would assign total blame to BP for this, when the federal agency charged with regulating them failed to do their job. The employees of that agency should be tried for their misfeasance and sentenced appropriately.

  14. GentillyGirl says:

    With head held high I say “Yes Ma’am” for your great piece.

  15. Then end the goddamned pointless wars, bring our soldiers & equipment home…!
    No can do, buckaroo. We are all wholly-owned subsidiearies of the great glorious MIC. And the MIC needs its war. And it needs its juice to fuel that war.
    It’s. All. Connected.

  16. hgggg says:

    what cc is you car americans? mines 1100cc?

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