Somehow, Laura Schlessinger is in the news again. A few days ago, on her radio show (which, mercifully, I haven’t heard for almost a decade now) she wasdiscussing racism with a Black caller–if, of course, by “discussing” you mean “insulting the living shit out of African-Americans.”
Well, shequit her job recently over the flap that resulted. Why did she quit? You see, when she offended said living shit out of said African-Americans (and anybody else with an ounce of decency), people did a horrible thing–they called her sponsors and asked why the sponsors were supporting a racist fuck. And, by so doing, theyusurped her First Amendment rights! First of all, “Doctor” Laura, I’d like to point out that “Black people can say the N-word but white people can’t! It’s racist!” is ALMOST the dumbest goddamn argument in a galaxy of dumb goddamn arguments. You have to be willfuly pig-fucking-ignorant not to recognize how goddamn dumb that is. Every fourth-rate stand-up comedian working today has used that dumb goddamn argument as a punch line. Second, the only goddamn thing dumber than your previously mentioned dumb goddamn argument is to claim that your First Amendment rights insulate you from any criticism of any dumb goddamn things you say. I believe our own Athenae has covered this ground a time or two. The government didn’t shut you down, stupid. In fact, your sponsors didn’t even shut you down. When people said that you were out of line with your show, you fucking quit. That’s right. You turned tail and ran. You didn’t even wait for the negative response, and now you’re trying to come off as a fucking martyr.
Go fuck yourself, stupid. Please note that, in Laura Schlessinger’s case, the previous sentence doesn’t work without the comma.