Brett Favre’s New Theme Song

We here at First Draft were ahead of the curve on the Brett Favre sexting kerfuffle. I’m not proud of it but who among us does not enjoy a good, or even mediocre, dick joke? I should probably have more class than to pile on now that everyone is snickering about it but I don’t. You can stick that in your cheesehead hat and smoke it or is that stroke it?

Anyhoo, in the spirit of helpfulness for which I am known, I would like to suggest a theme song for Mr. Favre in his time of woe. A good scandal calls for a great theme song and this one is a doozy. It’s the only lyric that I’m aware of that rhymes tight red sweater with Eddie Vedder:

2 thoughts on “Brett Favre’s New Theme Song

  1. Tommy T says:

    Oh, my baby, my baby she don’t want me no more
    Ever since she saw his poster in that record store
    She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy
    She thinks he’s so darn dysfunctional and “Generation X”y
    She likes his brooding angst and his wild-eyed stare
    Yeah, he’s her very favorite slacker multi-millionaire
    Well, my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    She’s all crazy ’bout that Eddie Vedder
    Once she was mine, but now I better just forget her
    ‘Cause my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    Now, every time I see him, well, he looks so grim
    I guess it really must suck to be a rock star like him
    What a pain in the butt to have so much success
    Spending all his time moping and avoiding the press
    But my girl can’t get enough of his sullen demeanor
    Like he’s some big tortured genius, and I’m some kinda wiener
    Well, my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    She’s got a thing for that Eddie Vedder
    Tell me, what can he do that I can’t do better
    Now my baby’s in love with
    I said I said I said my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    Head over heels for that Eddie Vedder
    I cant believe it, now she’s knitting him a sweater
    ‘Cause my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    I knew we were headin’ for disaster
    When she caught me hangin’ out at the Ticketmaster
    Now she’s got an unrequited adoration
    For the frustrated, agitated, designated alienated
    Spokesman for the disaffected grunge generation
    Well, I don’t wear Doc Martens and I don’t wear flannel
    And I don’t boycott the music video channel
    And I just can’t compete with all that money and fame
    But I know two can play at this kind of game
    Yeah, well, let’s just see how jealous she’ll get
    When I start stalking Alanis Morissette
    Well, my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    She’s all crazy ’bout that Eddie Vedder
    Once she was mine but now I better just forget her
    ‘Cause my baby’s in love with
    I said I said I said my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    Why’d she have to fall for that Eddie Vedder
    If she wants to leave me, I guess I better let her
    ‘Cause my baby’s in love with Eddie Vedder
    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eXyDp__hzo&fs=1&hl=en_US%5D

  2. Tom Allen says:

    Brett Favre a cheesehead? I shall soon send you a sternly worded e-mail.
    Actually, after this Vikings season (sigh) we may want to disclaim him, in which case, never mind.

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