Malaka Of The Week: Joe Miller

Some malakas are born and others are made. Then there’s Joe Miller of Alaska who qualifies under both standards. His malakatude was so egregious this week that his foundering campaign got as much coverage as the dubious constitutional scholarship of some of his fellow teabaggers. That takes a lot considering that Miller is from the great white North. He’s such a malaka that he’s a one man Seward’s Folly.

Miller’s week started off with a bang when his “security” goon squaddetained noted Alaska blogger and journalist Tony Hopfinger. What interests me the most about the teabaggers is their contempt for the normal rules of political engagement. They spend a lot of time calling liberals elitist while trying to shield themselves from scrutiny. Miller has declared his past off limits and that’s ludicrous. You’re running for the United States Senate, dude. Your past is now an open book whether you like it or not. If you hated public scrutiny so much, you shouldn’t have spent so much time on the campaign trail with former Governor Wingnut Cupcake. One of Miller’s ugly little secrets has already come to light: he used guvmint computers for political purposes; something that Palin once condemned but now thinks is no big whoop. That’s right: it’s only bad if it’s done by one of them smarty pants elitist libruls.

My favorite Malaka Miller moment this week was when he praised the way East Germany secured its border back in the day. You know, the Berlin Wall; the one that St. Ronnie wanted Gorby to tear down. These teabaggers are more fun than a beer garden during Octoberfest:

Anchorage blogger Steve Aufrecht reports that during the town hall, he [Joe Miller] cited his time serving at the Fulda Gap, one point on the former border between East and West Germany during the Cold War. During that time, he said, “East Germany was very, very able to reduce the flow” from one side of the border to the other. “Now, obviously, other things there were involved. We have the capacity to, as a great nation, obviously to secure our border. If East Germany could, we could.”

Hmm, I thought the Tea Party was for small guvmint and more “freedom.” It sounds as if Joe Miller has totalitarian police state envy, which is how East Germany secured its border. The East German commies were only good at two things: oppression and the Olympics. Additionally, they were trying to keep people IN as opposed to keeping those evil Meskins OUT. Also, why the hell does Joe Miller care about “protecting” our borders? That’s usually code for keeping brown people out and off the welfare rolls, yadda, yadda, yadda. I wasn’t aware that there was an influx of Canadians fleeing socialized medicine and ice hockey…

I’m constantly torn about the Tea Party malakas who are running for office in this election cycle. As a rational progressive, I’m appalled that they’ve gotten this far BUT they sure are good for the satire business. In the end, I hope the craziest ones go down to defeat. The super nutters will still be around to be mocked: they’ve vowed to take more out Senate Goopers in 2012. It seems that even Orrin Hatch isn’t conservative enough for them: he was actually on speaking terms with Ted Kennedy, which is a mortal sin to the denizens of wingnuttia.

The good news is that Miller’s campaign seems to be imploding. The beneficiary is likely to be the woman he beat in the GOP primary, Senator Lisa Murkowski. She’s mounting what appears to be the most effective write-in campaign ever and Joe Miller’s arrogance and malakatude could help make history. As far as I know, no write-in candidate has ever been elected to the Senate. Of course, 2010 is the weirdest election cycle of my lifetime and picking a malaka of the week is like finding a drunk in the French Quarter. Easy, easy, easy.

6 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Joe Miller

  1. Personally, I think all of the manufactured outrage over Juan Williams is just an attempt by the right to divert attention from the Teanut Clown Car. With O’Donnell, Angle, Miller, Paladino etc. all saying outrageously offensive things on a daily basis, they neededsome tasty morsel to throw off the wolves.

  2. Ya got it all wrong: small gummint and more “freedom” is for the Corporate Class. After all, “the business of America is business.”
    Otherwise, the government has the absolute right to storm into your bedroom at 3:00 AM to make sure you’re having sex with a woman…in the proper missionary position…FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

  3. I think Strom Thurmond was elected as a write-in candidate in the early 50s, but that’s pretty much it.
    As for Canadians and their evil, socialized med-sin…didn’t Governor Wingnut Cupcake herself admit a while back that as a kid her parents would sneak her across the border now and again to take advantage? Just wondering…
    Finally: not that it will ever happen, but wouldn’t an ultimate Anti-Malaka or at least Anti-Malaka moment be if some prominent journalist actually bothered to point out that wingers have never been for less government, but are for more AUTHORITARIAN government that provides LESS services to the general public…
    Hey, a guy can dream…

  4. What’s even worse about Malaka Miller’s totalitarian police-state envy, at least as it is playing out in the whole security goon-squad detention of a citizen reporter, is that two of the three security goon squad were ACTIVE DUTY members of the US ARMED FORCES. Seems like Miller, even before taking office, is already crafting his own official state security Gestapo using taxpayer funded “defenders of the Constitution.”

  5. IfThe Dead Zone had been written now, Stephen King would have had to have had his journalist characters falling all over the idea that hot dogs are a sensible, small-government, and above allserious policy proposal…

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