Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome to the Booster, where inside sources have revealed to us the NFL’s penalty against Brett Favre in the sexting allegations case against him.

– Score one for common sense. Or at the very least, score one for a shitty electrical system. Mom called last week and told me she had her coffee pot and fridge back in her room with the blessing of the school district. She had to pay, although at a drastically reduced rate than she was willing to pay earlier in the year. After spending the summer planning for the removal of all personal electronics from the schools in her district, the schools then had to deal with the shit storm that followed. Apparently, the high school wasn’t wired well enough in the 1960s or 1970s to handle certain things. One of them was about 10 microwaves all plugged in at the same time in the teachers’ lounge. When lunch hit and all 10 were in constant use, the school was blowing circuit breakers like crazy. At the grade schools, the PTO had used its own money to buy mini-fridges for the classrooms so that the kids’ milk wouldn’t get sour between delivery and lunch break. The removal of the fridges led to several “sour milk incidents,” of which I do not wish to further describe. After some pressure from the union, Mom got her wish, the kids got their fridges, the microwaves were disbursed and electricity was restored to the high school. I wonder if the district will get a rebate from that “efficiency expert.”

– I tried watching the Heat-Hawks game last night, but seeing LeBron on the court in that stupid number 6 shirt made me want to throw up. It was the same thing you feel seeing the girl you loved who broke up with you making out with some asshole at the movies.Still, I’m completely against this bullshit. Look, I hate what LeBron did to Cleveland probably as much, if not more, than most people. He was childish, stupid and mean about his decision to leave and his approach in doing so. If he hada Bogut-like injury this year, I’d be fine with it. However, since going down to Miami, he has not changed races, gotten an MBA or taken more money to do so. Thus, calling him racial slurs, accusing him of being ignorant and calling him greedy is not only stupid, ignorant, stupid, worthless, stupid and stupid, but also just plain illogical. He’s the same guy he was in Cleveland. If he’s all those things to you now, Cleveland fans, he must have been those things when he played for us. So what does that say about you, O tweet-meisters? In other words, STFD and STFU.

– From the “Ten HUT… Hut… hut… hut… oh yeah, baby… Hut, hut!” Department: Apparently the folks at Stars and Stripes like everything to stand at attention. Staffers for the paper were visiting porn sites. No one has been disciplined yet, as they’re “investigating” if these sites “were part of legitimate reporting.” Yeah. Right. I want to work on that “investigative team.” I can see it now: “Johnny, c’mere and look at this chick. You think she’s smuggling warheads?”

– Waiting in the garage for the Midget to get off the bus, I had the radio on when I noticed that the song on the air wasn’t Hall and Oates. It was a spoof remake that involved Brett Favre’s sexting escapades set to “Rich Girl.” I would pay good money for this to show up on iTunes. Hell, around here, it’d probably be the bridal march at 30 or 40 weddings this weekend if they could find it…

– From the “the customer is always right” file: The Octomom fertility doctor says he didn’t know she gave birth to eight babies until after she had delivered. He also said he felt he was obligated to follow her wishes even though he didn’t want to and the approach went against acceptable medical practices. I know we live in a consumer culture where the customer is to be given things they want, but give me a fucking break here. I can’t tell my doctor, “Look, doc, I want a cock the size of a Volkswagen and although it could kill me and it makes no sense for me to have it. I want it, so give it to me.” I can’t even get my doctor to up my allergy meds half the time. Hey Michael Kamrava! You went to MEDICAL SCHOOL. You have a DEGREE in this shit and you’re bending to the whim of someone who wants to use their uterus as a clown car for no good reason? If you really want to appease people so much, wait until they revoke your medical license and you can go work at Burger King. Special orders don’t upset them either…

– A sad day for those of us who learned sex ed from the back of dad’s closet or via the magazine rack at the local truck stop:The founder of Penthouse Magazine, Bob Guccione, is dead at the age of 79. In his honor… uh… I’ll be right back…

– When I was much younger, I worked in a garage with a great mechanic who was also an Amercian-firster when it came to cars. I learned all about the “Nazi Go-Karts” (Volkswagens), the “Rice Cookers” and the “Jap pieces of shit” that we had to work on in between his tirades on quality. When I grew up and went shopping for my own cars, I stayed away from foreign rides based on my experiences. However, eventually, I bought a Nissan and then a Honda and I’ve been hooked ever since.However, if Toyota keeps recalling cars for shit involving gas and brake problems, I’m looking toward a Ford (Fix or Repair Daily/Fucked-over Rebuilt Dodge) or maybe something in the MOPAR line (My Old Pig Ain’t Running). Sigh…

– And finally, did we really need a study on this? The full-fledged study by the NAACP regarding the Tea Party revealed that there are elements of racism, anti-Semitism and more within the group’s ranks. The study went on to reveal that there are elements of wet within water and allegations of blueness associated with the sky.

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.


2 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. The journal Science had a Guccione obit:
    “Among his many—mostly decidedly unscientific—achievements, Penthouse magazine founder Bob Guccione was probably the world’s biggest private investor in fusion technology. Guccione, who died at age 79 in Texas yesterday, launched the magazine Omni in 1978 with a mixture of serious articles about science and technology as well as science fiction. He got hooked when he read an interview with fusion scientist and inventor Robert Bussard in the pages of his magazine.”
    Oh yeah, I had forgotten about Omni.
    “The idea of a compact, high-field tokamak did not die, however. Bruno Coppi of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who aided Bussard on the original design, has continued to work on the idea with the Alcator tokamak at MIT, which forms the basis of the Ignitor project, an Italian-Russian collaboration that is going to be built in Russia.”
    Guccione spent about $17M backing the tokamak. I wonder if this had anything to do with Tony Stark?

  2. I liked reading Omni when I was a kid. I don’t think there’s been a general interest science magazine like it that combined science fiction and reporting. It was like Popular Mechanics had a few cocktails and was coming on to you.

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