Kids Need Sex to be Real

ACK BLECH GAH:

What is a species? The evolutionary answer seems simple enough: a species is an interbreeding population.

Most people walk away from biology classes with this definition, and it is this definition which causes problems. (In the first DVD of Hovind’s debate series, you can hear one college student give this exact definition.)

Notice that by this definition, those that are not interbreeding are not part of the species. This means that a virgin is not, by this definition, a human. If you use this definition, child sacrifice would not be considered murder, since murder only applies to humans; the child is not able to interbreed, and thus cannot meet the criteria of being in the human species. Do you see how something so simple as a wrong definition can have devastating effects?

Hormones, peers and the teaching of evolution work as a trifecta to push teens into being sexually active. Teens can control behavior and change friends, but the corrosive teaching of evolution will linger beyond them because it is ingrained in the modernist humanist belief system.

Warning: Comic Sans at the link.

Last I checked, liberals and atheists and scientists and other horrible practitioners of reality weren’t the ones screaming about people’s genitalia all day long, ignoring people’s essential humanity in favor of a rigid set of rules outlining at what time and for what purpose you could insert tabs into slots and whatnot. I know it’s a joke, right, that hardcore social conservatives are more obsessed with sex than people having actual sex RIGHT NOW, but if our society is obsessed with sex, it isn’t those of us who believe you should be able to do whatever you want doing the obsessing.

(And before you get on me about pop culture these days and the kids with their rock music and swiveling hips, let me tell you about the free satellite radio. George the Prius, whom we adopted over the summer, came from the dealer with a free trial of satellite radio. There are a billion stations, one of which is nothing but 1940s music, and since I love that, that’s what I listen to. And after six months of listening to that, I realized not only was there a hell of a lot of sex going on, but relationships were a hell of a lot more complicated than they are today, what with the closets being bigger for one, and interracial marriage being illegal in places for another, and oh yeah that big giant war. Switching back over to FM, Ludacris isn’t that much sexier, just louder. [And funnier.] We are as obsessed with sex as we have ever been. We just talk about it differently, with less shame, and that’s what pisses these prudes off.)

That whole post was, I think, started by some controversy over a sex toy shop, which … GOD, just drive past it already. You know what makes kids obsessed with sex? Their parents and adult acquaintances being creepy pervy perverts who talk about their young impressionable junk all the time and spend their days constantly fretting over EXACTLY WHAT BATHROOM STALL all the cool kids are getting penetrated in. Just giggle at the name of whatever sex shop it is because they’re all named something horrible and drive on. Do what Mr. A and I do in the car on the way up to Wisconsin and play Midwest Bingo: Cheese, Porn, Fireworks.

And if you’re truly worried about teenagers looking for meaning, maybe try to give them some that doesn’t involve what bits they have and what they can do with them. I do agree with the original batshit insane poster that on some level everybody lately is looking for something to be a part of, and having trouble (whether that’s more trouble than we’ve ever had, I dunno, I’ve only lived in the last four decades) finding it. But there’s got to be more to it than turning the Sexual Threat Level from Virgin to Whore.

ViaAmanda on Twitter.

A.

8 thoughts on “Kids Need Sex to be Real

  1. outrage broken says:

    what color is ‘whore’ on the chart?

  2. Jude says:

    “Cheese, Porn, Fireworks.”
    THIS IS WHY I LOVE WISCONSIN.

  3. CVS says:

    Cheese and porn are ok, but fireworks shouldn’t be lit in the house 😉

  4. darrelplant says:

    “Hurry down the chimney tonight”, Santa baby.

  5. montag says:

    Heh. Pretty funny quote from Kent Hovind: “What you believe determines how you behave.”
    Guess ol’ Kent believed that the banking laws didn’t apply to him.
    Surprise, surprise. He turned out to be as wrong about that as he is about the “young” Earth…

  6. adrastos says:

    @A: You shoulda called the post “Cheese. Porn. Fireworks” Words to libe by…

  7. Maitri says:

    PZ posts notes from the stupids in Comic Sans on purpose. Or, as he says, heuses it appropriately.
    Hitting the road to Wisconsin in a few minutes here. Just so you know, it’s our custom to hit the Holy Shopping Trinity somewhere in the vicinity of Sheboygan (super quadfecta in the summer time when there’s bait to be sold, too).
    Merry happy! Drive safe!

  8. Interrobang says:

    That guy is so dumb (and not to mention utterly wrong about what a species is, or sort of is if you’re looking at it the right way, or whatever) it’s a wonder his head hasn’t spontaneously combusted in a flashover of explosive stupid.

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