Malaka Of The Week: Rick Santorum

I’ve missed having former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum to kick around. He was stupid and crazy before it was fashionable. He’s best known for his comparison of gay sex to “man on dog sex.” Those were the days, my friend. Arf, lick, woof.

Santorum was defeated for re-election by Bob Casey in 2006 and he’s mostly kept his head down since then. But with the advent of the Tea Party, Rick has poked his head out of his hole, so it’s time for me to play a bit of whack-a-mole and make him malaka of the week.

Former Senator Man On Dog Sex (as I and many others lovingly called him) has decided to dip his toe into the 2012 Presidential race. Since it’s mandatory for Goopers to say stupid and inflammatory things about Barack Obama, Rick fits right in.Here’s his latest:

The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, “We’re going to decide who are people and who are not people.”

The so-called right to lifers have long compared abortion to slavery but very few of them have used this as a cudgel to beat up Obama. But Rick Santorum, like a demented Captain Kirk, is willing to go where few have gone before and claim that Obama should oppose abortion rights because he’s black. I guess Rick forgot that whole “color blind” thing that wingers are forever going on about.

Hypocrisy and opportunism are crucial components of political malakatude and Santorum is good at both. Since he’s allegedly a constitutionalist, I’m surprised that little Ricky didn’t invoke thethree-fifths rule and insist that Obama should, at the very least, apply it to the “pre-born.” Not that Mr. Man On Dog Sex would get that reference but he could always call Ginny Thomas and ask her. She could always interrupt Clarence’s porn viewing and, uh, solicit his views…

Finally, here’s the clip of Malaka Santorum opening his mouth and inserting his foot:

9 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Rick Santorum

  1. mellowjohn says:

    i prefer calling him “senator frothy mix.”

  2. MichaelF says:

    God, what a smug asshole. You just can’t deal rationally with someone who’s so comfortable flat-out lying through his teeth.

  3. montag says:

    Ah, well, every time I see his picture, or read his name, all that comes to mind is Ken Silverstein’s piece forThe Progressive called, “Dim and Dimmer,” which was his 1996 installment of his Ten Dimmest Bulbs in Congress series.
    Santorum came in #1 that year. His own staffers lived in terror, because they never knew what would come out of his mouth. One Congressional aide said, “if you were to take the key out of his back, his lips would stop moving.”
    The best line, though, came from Bob Kerrey: “Santorum? Isn’t that Latin for ‘asshole?'”

  4. thebewilderness says:

    “I am disappointed that President Obama, who rightfully fights for civil rights, refuses to recognize the civil rights of the unborn in this country.”
    Every sperm is sacred!
    The fact that 25% to 50% of all conceptions end in a spontaneous abortion is neither here than there. They should have full civil rights right up until the moment “Natural Law” flushes them down the toilet.
    What a painfully stoopid self righteous man he is.

  5. pansypoo says:

    i love santurum being squished like the bug he is.

  6. Adrastos says:

    @montag: Thanks for reminding me about Bob Kerrey’s zinger. A truly classic line.

  7. pansypoo says:

    i prefer dan savage’s use for santorum.

  8. Interrobang says:

    “I am disappointed that President Obama, who rightfully fights for civil rights, refuses to recognize the civil rights of the unborn in this country.”
    Please, Mr. Santorum, explain to me why the “civil rights of the unborn” should trump the civil rights of the actual born person whose body “the unborn” happens to be in at the time. I’m interested to hear that one. Please make sure your focus is on the actual born person, not making her into some kind of abstract concept, as well…

  9. det jeg var ute etter, takk

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