Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney is apparently on the offensive after his drubbing in the South Carolina Republican primary at the hands of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich yesterday. TPM’s Benjy Sarlin is at a Romney Rally in Ormond Beach, Florida andtweets that the former Gov. said “I think it’s time we had someone in the White House who knows how to create jobs because he’s had a job.”
Most crack dealers work harder on a given Tuesday than Mitt Romney has in his entire life. I am not speaking on the basis of my extensive crack-dealer data, natch, since that grant fell through, but pretty much anybody selling a desperately desired product to customers with questionable impulse control is going to have to drink a large latte to get through the morning.
In all seriousness, I don’t know where Mitt goes from here. How much worse does it get? How much harder can he work to convince Republican voters that he’s the biggest asshole? Does he have to eat a kitten alive on TV? Maybe that would resonate enough to get Romney and Newt into an episode of Top Chef where they compete to skin and portion the things the fastest.
This is where we’re at: Mitt, who is so desperate for a nomination he’s willing to render himself unelectable to 60 percent of voters by winning the hearts of enough of 40 percent of them, that is to say, by becoming enough of a hateful prick to win a GOP primary battle. And Newt, who is just in this to be a dick. Who has no policy positions that aren’t veiled racial slurs, rehashes of shit that didn’t work in the 90s, and a staggeringly unpopular stance against presidential blow jobs.
I am sort of rooting for Jeb Bush and Sarah Palin to get into this, just to led it some intellectual heft.