Puny God

I’ve spent approximately six minutes on Facebook in the last 72 hours. Treacly remembrances of things make me crazy, appropriation of other people’s pain to make oneself feel important makes me crazier, and in the history of everything there has never been an intelligent discussion of anything on Facebook. It’s the butthole of the Internet. I like mine because I like memes and pictures of my friends, but Christ almighty, sometimes I want to set two thirds of it on fire.

In those six minutes I managed to see this about nine times:

Forget arguing the actual point, because there isn’t one beyond modern Christianity’s eager self-martyrdom reality show. Let’s talk about this:


Really? Your God listens to the Supreme Court? People ON the Supreme Court don’t listen to the Supreme Court, but your God obeys them? Your God takes orders from the Freedom From Religion Foundation? Your God listens to that dick who has to inject his lack of belief into every conversation about everything from recipes to road head? Your God is cowed by that? Even other atheists think Richard Dawkins is an asshole, but your God takes one look at an op-ed of his and turns tail and runs?

What kind of pathetic weak-ass God do you worship, anyway? A God who needs national approval to show up in the schoolyard and help out kids who are being bullied and beaten and stabbed and shot? A God who needs an official memo complete with TPS report cover to get His job done that day? A God who respects a lock on the door, a bar on the window, a sign that says go away?

Have you ever read the Scriptures you claim to revere?

That God drew water from the rock, parted the seas, raised the dead from their graves, smashed the cruel and corrupt. That God swept down over the earth and uprooted tyrants, freed slaves, inspired nations, lifted up the widow and the orphan, all before His daily Chipotle run. That God was here for the ones who wanted Him, sure, but He was there for everybody else, too, and certainly wasn’t waiting for an engraved invitation to get shit done. His Son declared that He had sheep not of this flock, and that no one, no one at all, would go to the Father except through Him, that He was there for everyone. He didn’t ignore the people who rejected Him, wag His finger and cluck that He told them so and they’d be sorry.

He forgave them their rejection and welcomed them to His cosmic party no matter how late they came or how lousy their hostess gifts were. That was the WHOLE FECKING IDEA.

That’s the God worthy of worship, not this petulant bastard who whines that He didn’t even WANT to be in your stupid school anyway, and if a bunch of kids get shot then GOOD because it proves His point. I don’t know who’d want to worship that jackass. I wouldn’t sit next to Him on the subway, much less build Him a temple and name Him my king.


11 thoughts on “Puny God

  1. Ayup.
    Now, and forgive me if I already posted this on another thread, let us suppose that some nutbag walked into a fundamentalist church and killed a couple of dozen congregants before killing himself. And let us further suppose that before the bodies could even be removed, Rachel Maddow or Keith Olbermann went on the air and said the shootings were God’s judgment on the congregation for its bigotry.
    What do you think would happen?
    And in light of what likely would happen, why does Mike Huckabee still have a job?

  2. My sole comment to that idiocy on my Book Of Faces:
    “If God is omniscient and omnipresent, you can’t remove him from anything.”

  3. When I was a kid, I had a recurrent nightmare that I died and went to heaven, and heaven was made out of aluminum foil.
    I think that’s the heaven of the god these people worship.

  4. I’ve seen that asinine substitute for thought once on Facebook. The person who posted it is no longer on my friends list. But I’ll tell you, the thoughts above ran through my mind, practically verbatim.
    I knew the poster about 30 years ago, and most of her posts until the last one were mostly about her kids and extended family. I don’t think she posted it to be asinine, so I just unfriended her account. Someday I’ll probably be glad I didn’t go off on her, but yeah, right now? Well, perhaps it’s kindest to say that there’s nothing wrong with having a fifth grade understanding of the Bible . . . as long as you’re in fifth grade.

  5. I am also unfriending anyone who justifies mass murder by posting that particular pray away the guns crap.

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