Pope Francis is Wrong Because Fuck Obama

I haven’t ventured over into the Breitbart Memorial Museum for Fuckwittery in a long time, because a) why and b) no, but last week Pope Frank decided to point out that hoarding money isn’t cool, and that any system that doesn’t serve the needs of everybody needs to be amscrayed, just as his Employer once commanded.

Not a radical statement, unless you’re following on the heels of Pope Prada of the Hitler Youth during a time of epic income inequality reinforced by every major mainstream media outlet in the entire world. So most people were quite pleased to hear a sermon that involved people’s economic well-being instead of their sex organs.

But oh, holy father, the crazy that is ensuing in the monkey houses of the right:

Instead of using the Pope as a weapon against economic liberty, let’s talk about all the money that could be used to help the poor, but which is wasted on lavish perks for government officials, fraud-riddled programs, and giveaways to political contributors. Let’s talk about welfare programs such as ObamaCare that spread dependency on government giveaways into the formerly independent middle class, bleeding away even more resources that could be used for the benefit of the truly needy. That accounts for hundreds of billions of dollars out of our three-and-a-half trillion dollar mega-government. Clean all that garbage up from the poisonous Great Society machine you’ve created, liberals – get the welfare state running as efficiently as something like Catholic Charities – and let’s see how much we can do for those who have been “excluded” from general prosperity. That means you’ll have to give up the glittering palaces you’ve built in Washington D.C., which is now among the richest cities in America. You’ll have to give up all your lovely vote-buying cash, luxury perks of office, politically directed crony-socialist programs, and all the other implements of power.

So liberals should love the poor by abandoning Washington and running the government from … Calcutta? Which would free up resources to feed the needy in Washington, which is too rich as it is. And trying to give people health care is actually hurting them — you should let them deal with Catholic Charities, which is doing such a bang-up job insuring people these days that everyone’s already covered.

(And last I checked Obama didn’t build the White House, unless the “glittering palaces” are figurative; when was the last major government building constructed anyway? It’s Washington’s goddamn monument. If this asshole doesn’t like it he’s free to not visit.)

But of course, none of them are willing to take that deal. They want to give crackpot sermons about Christ the Tax Collector while venerating the State as the true and just repository of all money and ambition. And they certainly don’t want to talk about how the abuse of government power is what causes the unemployment Pope Francis mourns, not the lawful ambitions of hard-working, risk-taking free people. With all due respect to the Holy Father, in a Constitutional capitalist system, nobody in the private sector has the power to “exclude” anyone. That’s what the governmentdoes.

No one in the private sector can exclude anyone, which is why we never needed to pass laws saying you couldn’t fire someone for having a vagina or different skin color or worshipping a different God, that you had to at least pretend to give a shit about wheelchair ramps and close-captioning stuff. The private sector would TOTALLY have done all that anyway, Obama! There is no abuse of any kind in the wondrous free market, which rewards all “risk-taking free people” equally. No business ever fails except by the fault of the person running it, and that person is never you anyway, so it’s all fine.

Government steps in in cases of exclusion precisely because it’s the only system we have that is obligated to include everyone, by virtue of everyone at least in some way paying into it. Theoretically, and theologically, Christianity has the same obligation, and Frank’s doing his best to get us all to think that way again, at least on some topics. And pointing out that that is at least marginally admirable is apparently tantamount to raising a statue of Stalin in the US Senate.


7 thoughts on “Pope Francis is Wrong Because Fuck Obama

  1. Government also steps in because in a democracy, government is self government…and no, I’m not so naïve that I’ve forgotten about political factions, lobbyists, graft, greed, corruption, the K Street Project and god knows what else…but even with all that, it’s a step above the alternatives, including Catholicism, in no small measure because it is ourselves (you know, We The People, not Them, The Leaders)…and how does this not-so-Breit-bartian know whether or not Catholic Charities runs more efficiently than, say, Social Security or Medicare?
    As Reza Aslan said the other day, if this is their reaction to Pope Francis (just speaking for me, far better than his two immediate predecessors, but still a benevolent feudalist), imagine how they’d react to, say, Jesus.

  2. Admittedly I was nowhere near the top of the pyramid, but I worked for 5 years for a govt agency. All the time I heard about how govt employees live in golden Taj Mahals and eating govt supplied caviar for afternoon snacks (mixing quite a few metaphors).
    At the same time I saw where every move was carefully controlled to disallow any action which might give even the slightest picture of that being true.
    And may I compliment you on the last paragraph as an excellent focus statement on what the conservs seem intent on missing – as well as putting it succinctly in terms of natural morality.

  3. I work for County Government. Trust me, the only Taj’s around here is the one built by Romney and Friends in La Jolla, and it’s a doozy!
    I really don’t understand the conservative mind think that allows them to somehow place their actions outside the door of the world, to somehow see themselves as saintly and blameless as they deny or try to deny, rights to women and brown people and LGBT and Native Americans et al. I guess it was the government that passed segregation laws, is that where they get it from?
    “[I]n a Constitutional capitalist system, nobody in the private sector has the power to “exclude” anyone.”
    The private sector does whatever they want, they’re forever shoving their stinking religion down my throat, God Bless America at every baseball game for instance, that ain’t in the Constitution. Maybe this idiot is talking about all those black kids locked up in prison out of all proportion, maybe that’s what he’s getting at?
    Maybe not.

  4. Athenae, I tried to follow your link to the monkey house, and whaddya know? There’s a consistent 503 error: server responding too slowly to get me in. What’s this? A RW website that isn’t working? Oh, sweet irony!

  5. You cannot be serious.

    “[I]n a Constitutional capitalist system, nobody in the private sector has the power to “exclude” anyone.”

    The Constitution endorses capitalism???????

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