You Don’t Get a Trophy for Being White Anymore

I have had the flu all week.


Apparently the universe has decided to punish me for not getting sick all last year by making me catch every virus that whistles past my house these days. Mr. A dragged home some stomach bug from a trip overseas, and he was down for about 48 hours with it. I started feeling ill last Sunday and still haven’t recovered my appetite.


The exchange occurred after an audience member from North Carolina, 30-year-old Scott Terry, asked whether Republicans could endorse races remaining separate but equal. After the presenter, K. Carl Smith of Frederick Douglass Republicans, answered by referencing a letter by Frederick Douglass forgiving his former master, the audience member said “For what? For feeding him and housing him?” Several people in the audience cheered and applauded Terry’s outburst.

Yes. You see, keeping slaves was sort of like keepingpets, where otherwise they’d be homeless or something. Jesus Elvis CHRIST. So we kidnapped people, dragged them across the ocean, and then … put them up, because charity? Fellow white people, I ask you in all sincerity what the tits.

The entire panel sounds gross and fucked-up in that victimized pasty choad way that everything out of CPAC does:

Then Terry stood to talk. “It seems to me that you’re reaching out to voters at the expense of young white southern males like myself.”

Yes. If only you could catch a break. It’s like an entire week devoted to whining about why nobody thinks they’re cool and reinforcing amongst one another that they’re cool, they really are, and everybody else just doesn’t understand their beautiful souls. It’s all so depressing and sad and needy, and I can’t deal with people like this lately, like you’re out of step with the world and it’s a problem that I’m not throwing you a parade for it.

You feel left behind by the world because it’s no longer enough to be a white dude from the South? Wow, that sucks. Here’s a radical fucking idea: Try to be about more than being a white dude from the South. Try to have an identity and a life that is about your accomplishments and not about what womb you crawled out of. Try to add some different stuff to your resumé. You might wind up not feeling quite so left out of the political conversation then. Or you might realize there are other things to talk about.


2 thoughts on “You Don’t Get a Trophy for Being White Anymore

  1. It has always amused me that the ‘peculiar institution” only makes sense if the following are true:
    (1) The rich white guys are too incompetent to run their businesses without help
    (2) The poor whites are such shitty workers that they can’t help
    (3)The only non-shiftless, non-lazy people living in the South were the blacks, since without them, nothing got done.
    It all boils down to “the soulless animals we bring over from Africa are more competent than any white Southerner”, or “We are retards”

  2. I also “love” when assclowns like Bill O’Reilly insist that in addition to enslavement, white benevolence included Christianizing the heathens.
    Seems to me they could’ve just sent some missionaries (and allowed some choice in the matter)…

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