Oklahoma is not okay with me. When I was still dealing with tourists in the Quarter, I could usually muster something positive to say about almost any place that they were from. There was one exception: Oklahoma. Other than being the birthplace of Will Rogers and Mickey Mantle, it’s the asshole of the universe as far as I can tell. I cannot be certain since I’ve never even wanted to go there. This may be irrational but considering the sort of politicians Oklahoma pukes up, it inspires a a great deal of irrationality. (Yeah, I know, Louisiana gave the world Jindal and Vitter, but also Hale and Lindy Boggs, the Longs, and the eternally entertaining Edwin Edwards.) That brings me to Senator James Inhofe.
I cannot imagine why he’s never been malaka of the week before. He’s a climate change denying, tin foil hat wearing, dumbshit motherfucker. He’s qualified, in fact, to be granted automatic entry to the malakatude hall of fame, which is not to be confused with the Cowboy Hall of Fame, which is in Inhofeville.
A few weeks ago, Inhofe was peddling a conspiracy theory about the eebil Marxist/Nazi/Mau-Mau administration buying up all the bullets in order to, uh, blow up the Second Amendment or some such shit. Inhofe’s tinfoil hattery is too convoluted for me to bother summarizing, so you should read this piece at Salon. Just thinking about it makes me want to bite the proverbial bullet. Chomp, boom.
Speaking of Salon, there’s another piece by Jillian Rayfield discussing Senator Malaka’s take on the Congressional hearings that are giving Gopers a Benghazm. Inhofe waxed wingnutty yesterday on talk radio about Hillary Clinton:
“I think that she has gotten by with that type of a forceful
attitude, something that’s not normally accustomed– that you don’t hear
from women as much as you do men. And she came out so forcefully, and
you could tell that it was orchestrated at the time that she said it,”
Inhofe said in an interview Thursday on “The Rusty Humphries Show.”
I guess having a vagina is supposed to make one timid. I’m under the impression that Yale Law School grads are usually pretty darn forceful even if they occasionally wear high heels, lipstick, and rouge. If you locked Hillary in a room with this Okie nimrod and told them to fight to the death, she’d be the one to walk out alive.
Malaka Inhofe, however, isn’t done talking. He’s also showing off his knowledge of the alphabet and maybe even the oeuvre of Sue Grafton:
Inhofe also had this exchange with host Humphries about possibly impeaching President Obama over the attacks:
“People may be starting to use the I-word before too long,” Inhofe said.
“The I-word meaning impeachment?” Humphries asked.
“Yeah,” Inhofe responded.
I is also for irrational, idiot, imbecile and insane as well as Inhofe. The Gopers are quite simply obsessed with impeachment. They seem to be having 1990’s flashbacks ever since they couldn’t defeat Obama at the ballot box. They’re patently nostalgic for Whitewater, filegate, and being conflicted over whether Hillary Clinton was a lesbian or had Vince Foster whacked because he was her lover. Welcome back to the wacky world of wingnut politics, Hillary. They’ve finally remembered how much they hated you back in the day.
Back to James Inhofe and Oklahoma. The only wind that’s whistling down the plain nowadays is all the hot air coming from the Senatorial pie hole. I would suggest that he shut the fuck up, but I’d miss his, ahem, wit and wisdom, so I’ll just name him malaka of the week and be done with it. Time to go back to biting the bullet before Obama confiscates them all: