Malaka Of The Week: ESPN

Those kooky kids at ESPN have been obsessed with the Michael Sam story. It *is* a helluva story but there’s a particular sub-plot that they cannot get enough of:

During a segment on “SportsCenter,” Anderson was asked how St. Louis Rams rookie defensive end Michael Sam, the first openly gay player to be drafted by an NFL team, was “fitting in” with his teammates.

The reporter then relayed some observations from an anonymous Rams player, who said that Sam might be steering clear of the showers to avoid making his teammates uncomfortable. Langford and Rams linebacker Alec Ogletree, Anderson noted, said they hadn’t paid attention to Sam’s shower routine.

But another Rams defensive player told me that quote Sam is respecting our space and that from his perspective, he seems to think that Michael Sam is waiting to kind of take a shower as not to make his teammates feel uncomfortable while Langford and linebacker Alec Ogletree told me that they didn’t know that specifically and also weren’t tracking that. Now while Langford told me, ‘Listen, I have not been in the shower at the same time as Michael Sam,’ he said that there definitely could be a million reasons as to why that is. He said he could be doing extra work on the practice field, he could be riding his bike, he could be doing extra cardio, but overall Langford said he seems to be adjusting to the life in the NFL and the speed of the game.

ESPN clearly believes there is a cocksucking imperative among gay men. They cannot control themselves when seeing manly bodies and their packages. This is part and parcel of all the gay rape jokes out there. You know the ones I mean: don’t bend over in the shower, prisoners, or you’ll get buggered. Rush Limbaugh is fond of talking about anal rape, which is the clearest indication that it’s not funny.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Here’s the deal. It is a completely valid story to inquire as to how well Michael Sam is getting on with his team mates and if they’re accepting him. Discussing whether they shower together is, quite simply, adolescent malakatude. It’s especially disheartening because Ms. Anderson is African-American as you can see in the segment video:

Remember the stereotype about black men being beasts who cannot keep it in their pants? This indirectly feeds into that. If they don’t knock this shit off, they’ll inquire as to whether he’s a top or a bottom. This is not the first time that ESPN has shown a prurient interest in Sam’s hygenic habits, they even ran a story in their magazine about locker room showering. I shit you not. It reminds me of the bad joke Greek-American kids tell at school when they’re 13: “I’m going to malaka.” There are other variations but this is the worst one, which is what this pitiful story deserves.

ESPN needs to grow up and stop beating off over this story. Here’s hoping Keith Olbermann tears his network a new one. He hasn’t been nearly fired since returning.

This just in: ESPN is no longer sticking by the story and has apologized. They should have knocked it off to begin with, and that is why ESPN is malaka of the week.

One thought on “Malaka Of The Week: ESPN

  1. Josina Anderson is a stupid ghetto broad. Not smart enough to ask an insightful question. Once her face and fake tits finally sag, she’ll be done.

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