Seeing Kerry Washington Basically Naked Will Scar Children for Life

You were watching Charlie Brown, and now you’re watching a beautiful woman: 

“Network programmers know the importance of audience flow when constructing their broadcast schedule, and in fact they build their schedules around audience retention rates,” he continued. “So they know full well the importance of program adjacency. The juxtaposition of a reliably classic family friendly children’s cartoon special like the ‘Great Pumpkin’ – a huge family draw every year for decades – with such a graphic bedroom scene is unjustifiable. We call on ABC to apologize for its actions and to promise not to do such a thing in the future.”

When I first heard about this I thought maybe the steamy sex scene was the one where the White House’s doofus-looking old chief of staff was graphically banging a young male prostitute he met in a bar. For serious, it is like watching Mitch McConnell blowing Magic Mike every week. So I could see where that’s hard to explain to one’s children:

“That’s Thatcher Grey, honey, and his chest hair is what happens when you sleep through the whole ‘metrosexual’ trend.”

But it was just Olivia Pope getting it on in consensual fashion with two hot guys? Meh. How hard is that to deal with? “That lady is pretty, isn’t she? That’s a grown-up show about politics. Yawn. *click* Who wants ice cream before bed?”