Malaka Of The Week: Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina’s career seems to based on the upward failure principle. She ran Hewlett-Packard into the ground, fired 30,000 employees, and turned what was once one of the best places in the world to work into an (Ayn) Randian hellhole. But her “candidacy” for the GOP nomination is why Carly Fiorina is malaka of the week.

After failing in business. Fiorina failed in politics. She was banned from the 2008 McCain campaign for trashing the candidate. I’ll give her a mulligan for trashing Sarah Palin. In 2010, she ran for the Senate in California against Barbara Boxer. It was, of course, the teabagger wave election, but Fiorina ran a horrendous campaign and lost by 10 points. It was one of the few bright spots that night as Fiorina took the same shellacking that Democratic candidates did elsewhere.

That’s the track record of someone who thinks she’s qualified to be President. It gets better as shown by this TPM headline, Former Fiorina Staffer: I’d Rather Go To Iraq Than Join Campaign For Prez:

Fiorina, who’s worth an estimated $120 million, didn’t pay high-ranking staffers who worked on her failed 2010 bid for California Senate for more than four years, Reuters found, and she only settled the debts just months before launching her presidential campaign.

As a result, nearly half of her former staffers said they wouldn’t enlist for Fiorina 2016. One anonymous staffer went as far as to quip, “I’d rather go to Iraq than work for Carly Fiorina again.”

Try as I might, not even I can make up shit like this. Fiorina is the latest no-hoper to claim that she’ll run government like a business. Every time I hear that line, I’m tempted to build a fallout shelter in my backyard. My former Mayor, C Ray Nagin spouted the same nonsense. That didn’t work out very well: the Walking Id is now a resident of Club Fed.

The Republicans are building up Fiorina because she can say nastier shit about Hillary Clinton than a man can. That means those dick waving, hawkish, and manly Gopers are hiding behind a woman’s petticoat as Al Swearingen might have said. Actually, he would have added fuck and cocksucker…

The Fiorina campaign seems to be the latest Potemkin campaign staged by a Goper. They run for the nomination to get publicity, sell books, boost their speaking fees, or line up a hosting gig on Fox News. It worked for Huckabee and Newt, after all. Perhaps Fox Business would be interested in a deadbeat former tech executive. There are more than a few Fox talking heads whose careers seem to be based on the upward failure principle, after all.

Fiorina seems to be running a “lean and mean” campaign with the emphasis on the latter. People like to be paid for their efforts, and if you stiff them they’ll pummel you in the press. And that is why Carly Fiorina is malaka of the week.

One thought on “Malaka Of The Week: Carly Fiorina

  1. H says:

    Regarding “upward failure” —
    keep in mind the phrase is always “fuck UP” and not “fuck DOWN”

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