Clash Of The Entitled

Spank Float
Photograph by David Martin.

It was a long, festive Krewe du Vieux weekend. I’m in pain, and suffering withdrawal symptoms as well. It was KdV’s 30th anniversary and my sub-krewe of Spank celebrated it by satirizing New Orleans parade culture.

Spank does hyper-local satire and Clash of the Entitled was as local as all get-go. We mocked 2 categories of entitled folks. First, the Old Line Krewes as seen above. Dr. A and I cast our fake royals and we did a helluva job I might add. They’ve since been deposed and King Humbert is in an undisclosed location. Queen Lolita reigns supreme in exile.

The second subset of entitled jerks mocked were the people who misbehave on the parade route by camping out, marking off territory, and being generally assholish. We call them the Krewe of Chad and the Spank marchers chadded out in loud Carnival attire:

Krewe of Chad
Dr. A and the Michelin Man. It was cold, y’all.


Hand to God, I have never worn jammies in public before. People asked if I was playing a bro. Nope, I was a douchebag, pure and simple. Notice the paddle: we take our Spanking seriously.

I told you this was hyper-local. If any of my readers who don’t live in the Carnival belt have any questions, leave a comment, I’ll try and answer them. I will surely regain coherence at some point in the near future…

Finally, we in Spank believe in providing parade-goers with some light reading material. This year we came up with the Arthur Hard-On Guide. Arthur Hardy is a somewhat stuffy local Mardi Gras maven who publishes a guide every year. It’s positively limp compared to this:

Guide CoverThatGuide back cover

That’s it for now. I’m still knackered from the 3.1 mile march. That’s right, we walk, we don’t ride except, that is, for our fake royals. So it goes.

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