The Grossest Thing About Halperin

Will always be this: 

A team of journalism students will take a page from Halperin and offer analysis of his remarks on Twitter, as well as produce a streaming video feed that will allow people watching on the Web to ask Halperin questions.

Look, let me just stipulate up front that I am a dumb girl who makes dick jokes on the internet, and therefore am not the arbiter of What Is Journalism, especially since I often start sentences with conjunctions. But even I, a dumb girl who makes dick jokes on the internet, think that anyone who thinks Mark Halperin and his merry band of blithering asslicks offer any insight worth listening to is a deluded famefucker.

I am annoyed that he has been exposed as a gigantic pig who rubs his wiener on young girls who work with him, because if that’s the thing that takes him down it’s bad for journalism.

What should take him down is his conflation of being an “insider” and his “must-read status among political junkies” with journalism. We’re parading this guy, and Chris Cillizza, the creature, around like they’re Woodward and Bernstein just because they call themselves journalists and make a shitload of scratch. If Halperin and Heilemann had to cover cops in a middle-class suburb for just one week they’d go bugass crazy nuts by Tuesday afternoon at the latest. The first time the scanner blew up they’d pee themselves.

What they do is write a gossip column for ugly people, and that’s fine, I have nothing against that. Everybody needs a hobby. But we are running around in this industry with our hair on fire screaming about how nobody wants to pay for the news and consumers are in danger of becoming congenitally unable to discern truth from falsehood and there’s no money for anything, yet here comes this asshole. Getting paid millions to not only be a disgusting pig but to be dumb as all hell.

I mean Jesus H. Ranch Dressing Christ.

And if you read the press releases issued by journalism schools they are the fucking arbiters of the future. They’re the molders of young minds and the creators of the journalists of tomorrow, and so they encouraged their students to take a page from this guy’s fucking book, and … tweet.

Sometimes I wonder if this industry deserves to be saved.

A.

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