Introducing Mar-a-Doorn

I take nicknames seriously. There were many false starts with Trump nicknames, three stuck but they’ve all evolved. The original was the Insult Comedian based on demeanor and delivery. It was augmented in December 2019 and became the Impeached Insult Comedian.

President* Pennywise has been a crowd-pleaser as it captured Trump’s weird combination of menace and cartoon villainy. I’ve amended the name since the evil fucker left office to Pennywise. A simple nickname for a simpleton.

The other enduring nickname is the Kaiser of Chaos based on some similarities to one of history’s great losers, Kaiser Wilhelm II. He, too, belonged in a straitjacket instead of in power. I’ve long thought that Trump is more of a neo-monarchist than anything else. He wants to be worshipped and regards the state as his personal plaything much like an old school king or emperor.

Now that Trump has grudgingly left office, the Kaiser of Chaos seems more and more like the perfect moniker. Kaiser Bill lived for 23 years in exile in Holland in a town called Doorn. Most historians believe that Wilhelm’s distant cousin Queen Wilhelmina granted asylum as payback for Germany not invading the Netherlands during the Great War.

In 1920, the deposed Kaiser purchased Huis Doorn, a country estate surrounded by thick woods for privacy. That was the original theory, but Wilhelm was bored and took up an appropriately destructive hobby thereby earning a new nickname: the Woodcutter of Doorn.

While in exile, the former Kaiser had fantasies of returning to the throne even as a figurehead under the Nazis. Hitler wanted no part of these plans but chose to ignore his former ruler as the latter had no support in Germany. The Kaiser was a loser, but his defeat was nothing compared to that of Hitler who left behind an impoverished and divided nation.

Huis Doorn still stands. It’s an under-attended museum that stays open mostly due to subsidies from the Dutch royals. Here’s a picture of the stately home and a bust of its infamous former owner:

That brings me to the post title. I’ve been pondering a nickname for Trump’s gilded Floridian exile. Charlie Pierce is calling it the Holy Shrine of the Golden Commode, which is a good one. I called it Mar-a-Elba the other day after Napoleon I’s first place of exile. Then it occurred to me, that I should combine Kaiser Bill’s final domicile with the Kaiser of Chaos’ current home and call it Mar-a-Doorn.

Mar-a-Doorn is a mythical place much like Brigadoon of Lerner & Lowe musical fame. Another Lerner & Lowe musical about a mythical kingdom, Camelot, is already taken. Brigadoon is set in fantasy Scotland, so it works better for the Kaiser of Chaos since his mother was Scottish. In real Scotland, they hate Trump with a passion equal to my own. Smart people, the Scots. Aye.

A nickname is born. Mar-a-Doorn it is.

2 thoughts on “Introducing Mar-a-Doorn

  1. LarrytheRed says:

    Hitler who left behind an impoverished and divided nation.
    To say the least! Mar-

  2. Tommy T says:

    I’m kinda fond of : “Mar-A-Fucko”.

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