Testify, Donald. I Double Dog Dare You

Image by Michael F.

Lead House impeachment manager Jamie Raskin wrote a letter to the Impeached Insult Comedian yesterday. He asked Trump to testify either live or on video in his senate trial. The tone was a bit too polite for my taste. I would have subpoenaed the evil fucker. That would have taken more time so Raskin cut to the chase with his missive. Have you ever wondered who Chase is? Is it baseball dirtbag Hal? Silent comedian Charley? Or Sopranos creator David?

Trump’s new mouthpieces rejected Raskin’s proposal as a PR stunt. Since when did Pennywise scorn PR stunts? His entire life is a prolonged PR stunt. One could even call him a PR stuntman. I should stop the stunt jokes. I don’t want them to stunt my growth…

One thing I’ve noticed about the Kaiser of Chaos since he left office is that his minions refer to him as “the 45th president.” It’s technically true but it comes with more than a hint of denial. Does he still think he’s president? I have nothing but questions today. I’m not sure if they’ll add up to 13 but I’ve always liked this obscure old song:

That brings me to the point, such as it is, of this post. I’m calling Donnie from Queens out. I did it once before and absent a pocket self-pardon he paid no attention. I guess it’s a bit much to expect the stupid bastard to read anything.

I hereby call 45 out about testifying. I thought you were a swinging dick and a manly he-man. A real man would testify instead of cowering at Mar-a-Doorn. You nearly showed up at the impeachment vote, why not testify and tell your side of the story.

That’s the tone Democrats should adopt right now. Taunt Trump. Challenge his manhood, such as it is. His shysters don’t want him to testify because they know he’ll lie. Perjury thy name is Pennywise.

You’re “the 45th president,” Donnie baby. Defend yourself. I dare you. In fact, I double dog dare you and I know how much you hate dogs.

If you don’t testify, you know what that makes you? A chickenshit, lilly-livered, wussy-hearted coward, that’s what.

Repeat after me: Donald Trump is a pussy. He should grab himself.

2 thoughts on “Testify, Donald. I Double Dog Dare You

  1. gratuitous says:

    Hillary Clinton sat for 11 hours before a congressional committee chaired by Trey Gowdy and gave testimony under oath about whatever little hobgoblins were infesting Republican minds that day. She more than held her own that day. It’s pretty obvious she’s made of far sterner stuff than Needy Amin, who won’t even show up with a phalanx of lawyers and Lindsey Graham sitting by to object to every question asked.

  2. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    Yeah, Trump immediately bailed when he heard the words “under oath”.

    It’s Trump-Kryptonite, it’s true.

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