Day Four: Defending The Indefensible

In a brazen display of arrogance, the senators depicted above Mike Lee, the Incredible Mr. Lindsey, and Tailgunner Ted met with Trump’s lawyers last night. They have contempt for propriety and decency, so I’m not surprised. It was, however, fun to put letters in front of Graham’s big fat bazoo since he never closes it.

Once again, this is the moral equivalent of live blogging or something like that.


It was hard to watch, impossible to analyze. They weren’t as clownish as on day one. Lawyer Vander Veen is marginally competent but kept setting up straw men and knocking them down. I should have said straw women because the video clips involved women and people of color saying fight, fight, fight. There was never any follow-up. No mob. No riot. No nothing. No incitement.

If you’re a fan of whataboutism, lies, and false equivalency today’s first act was for you.

The most memorable phrase came from Vander Veen, “Constitutional cancel culture.” I said memorable not good or even coherent. I believe it’s called bunkum.

Lawyer Schoen channeled his client by discussing fake evidence. It’s called film editing, asshole. He claimed the House managers didn’t share the “new video” with the defense. They did. Schoen lied.

It’s a good thing that none of the Trump lawyers are under oath. Like their client they’ve been making shit up for the entire time. It’s more painful than having your head nailed to a table. Make it stop.

Then there’s the cavalry cavalry thing:

Senate Democrats were just as confused by David Schoen’s explanation of the “calvary” tweet as you were.

Schoen claimed House managers had misrepresented what Trump was signaling when he retweeted a tweet that promised “The calvary is coming” for Trump on Jan. 6. The tweet, in Schoen’s telling was not a reference to armed supporters, i.e. “cavalry,” but, “Calvary, a public display of Christ’s crucifixion, a central symbol of her Christian faith, with her, to the president’s speech, a symbol of faith, love, and peace.”

Within the chamber, according to the Hill pool, the explanation for the tweet left some Democrats “aghast.”

Sens. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI), Mazie Hirono (D-HI), Kristen Gillibrand (D-NY) and Joe Manchin (D-WV) started talking. The pooler observed Whitehouse saying, “Oh my God.” 

I think the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers meant the guys who rode to the rescue in Westerns. Oy Just oy.

The defense argument amounts to a loyalty oath to Trump and all that he has wrought. You can see Pennywise’s hand in today’s argument. He was a perfect president* who made perfect phone calls.

I survived act one. Onward.

Some soothing music to keep us going.


You get what you pay for. Or in Trump’s case, what you don’t pay for. This is some mighty bad lawyering. When you’re losing, you argue that the prosecution is bad, very bad. No wonder Cruz visited them on the break.

Everett McKinley Dirksen Bruce Castor kicks off the second act. Aw shucks. Golly gee wiz. Heck.

Thus far he hasn’t said anything as weird as “they’re some judicial thinking people in Nebraska.”

Castor argued Trump’s law and order rhetoric, not the reality of his conduct on Twelfth Night 2021. Then it was back to the red meat videos. I think Mike Lee got a law and order boner. I don’t think playing the same videos over and over is a good way to reach these “jurors.” A word that should always been in air quotes. Oy just oy.

Castor seems to be better prepared but he’s just as folksy. He’s trying too hard: he’s already got John Neely Kennedy’s vote.

I’m tired of the defense acting as if all the protections given to criminal defendants should apply to this trial. That’s ahistorical nonsense. Of course, they work for the Kaiser of Chaos.

I wish Castor would “peacefully and patriotically” stop saying “peacefully and patriotically.” Enough, Mr, Folksy Pants.

If they say fight again, I’ll fight them.

It’s Brad Raffi, not Ben Raffi, Bruce, baby. FYI, one-party recording is allowed in Georgia, dickweed,

I found Castor’s disquisition on the word fine in the “perfect Georgia” call to be less than fine and dandy.

It’s rich for a lawyer making political arguments to denounce politics. The impeachment process is inherently political.

Next up are questions for both sides from senators. Stay tuned.

The last word goes to Robbie Robertson with a song from his Storyville album. The video was filmed in New Orleans: