You rang?
I was staying with a (platonic) girlfriend overnight and head the doorbell ring. Thought
“who could it be this early in the morning?”
Heard a conversation at the front door, so I got up from the couch, dressed, and went to see.
My very nice host had opened the door to a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and she was trying to be nice and still get them to leave. Wasn’t happening.
I came up beside her and slipped my arm around her shoulders, saying “Who are these fine people, sweetheart?”. She looked at me and advised me that they were informing her about the Lord Their God, Jesus Christ.
I chuckled gently and told them “I’m terribly sorry. You see, we worship The Dark Lord.” – smiling all the while.
They left a hole in the air from their sudden departure.
I always used to tell them we were Catholic and that worked every time. It was true at one time but feel free use it in all cases. As a general rule it isn’t a good idea to joke about Satan.
In this case it was an excellent idea. What were they gonna do about it? Report me to God?
I used to ask ’em about God creating everything so he’s responsible for everything, including Satan, and 🎶 You should’a seen ’em runnin’ [should’a seen ’em runnin’, uh-ha], runnin’ all the way; oh yeah you should’a seen ’em runnin’ … !
Love this one and I use “We’re gay and atheists, so can I help you?”