The Devil Made Me Review It

Five years of writing about former President* Pennywise have made me something of an expert on demonic possession. It’s a plausible explanation for the behavior of Republicans who should know better. The GOP’s political house is haunted. It needs an exorcism. Who you gonna call? Not the Ghostbusters, but Ed and Lorraine Warren.

Ed and Lorraine Warren are the real life paranormal researchers whose exploits inspired all three Conjuring movies. The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It is the latest installment of 8 movies in the Conjuring Universe. It’s something of a marketing ploy that mimics the dread Marvel Universe but the movies are good so who am I to balk?

I like intelligent character driven horror movies, but I don’t believe in ghosts, demons, or other things that go bump in the night. I don’t exactly disbelieve either: some things defy rational explanation such as the Impeached Insult Comedian’s appeal to voters. What’s more irrational than that?

The Conjuring 3 is inspired by a “true story” in the Hollywood manner. There *was* a case in which defendant Arnie Johnson claimed the “devil made me do it” but that argument never got before the jury. The movie implies that it did.

I only care about strict adherence to the facts in movies when history is involved. The story told in The Conjuring 3 is insignificant. It’s not like Oliver Stone polluting the national dialogue with every cockamamie conspiracy theory in JFK. If you’re interested in the real not the reel story get thee to ScreenRant.com.

The Conjuring 3 deviates from the formula of the first two movies: there’s nary a haunted house in sight. The villain is an androgynous creature called The Occultist whose specialty is placing curses on people. The details don’t matter that much in a horror movie if it delivers a compelling story and the requisite number of scary moments.

The movie works because of the performances of Patrick Wilson and Vera Famigia as Ed and Lorraine Warren. They’re fine actors who bring plausibility to the series There’s some extra drama involving an exorcism induced heart attack suffered by Ed who gimps about for the rest of the movie much to Lorraine’s frustration.

It’s time for a musical interlude:

I’m not sure who Martha is but I love the carnival style organ on that song.

You’re probably wondering if I ventured out to see The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It on the big screen. I did not. Vaccination rates in the Gret Stet of Louisiana are depressingly low and I’d rather not share recirculated air with the unvaccinated. Shorter Adrastos, we watched it on HBO Max. The best part of that is that I rewatched it in broad daylight, which was almost as weird as the movie itself.

I’m a sucker for The Conjuring movies. They’re best described as intelligent escapism that provides some thrills, chills, and may even cause you to spill, especially if you’re drinking one of those big ass theatre sodas.

Here’s the trailer:

I give The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It 3 1/2 stars and an Adrastos Grade of B+.

The last word goes to Louis Armstrong and Oscar Peterson with another Lorraine song:

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Oscar Peterson? That goes for Louis too.

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