Malaka Of The Week: Tommy Tuberville

Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville is pulling for fellow football guy Herschel Walker to win his senate race. If Walker wins, Tubs won’t be the dumbest member of the senate anymore. And that is why Tommy Tuberville is malaka of the week.

The former Auburn football coach is a notorious grifter. He’s been involved in questionable stock transactions and other sleazy business deals. He’s against guvmint except when it lines his own pockets.

He’s freeloaded off Alabama taxpayers for:

  • a $5 million buy out after he was fired as coach.
  • a $250K no-show job the year after his firing.
  • a $57k annual state employee pension.

That makes Tubs a triple dipper as well as a dipshit. He may be dumb but he’s shrewd much like his suzerain, the Kaiser of Chaos.

As egregious as they are, Coach Malaka’s financial shenanigans are not why he’s this week’s honoree. It’s down to his blatant racism.

It happened at a Trump rally in Nevada. Tubs got carried away and decloaked as a good old-fashioned Alabama bigot:

“They’re not soft on crime,” Tuberville said of Democrats. “They’re pro-crime. They want crime. They want crime because they want to take over what you got. They want to control what you have. They want reparation because they think the people that do the crime are owed that.”

So, Democrats are a bunch of commie varmints out to steal from hardworking Trumpers? Who knew?

Coach Malaka may be bad at most things, but he excels at the ultimate Republican vice: HYPOCRISY.

Cue musical interlude:

Reparations is yet another code word used by dog whistling bigots like Senator Malaka. I’m waiting for one of them to crown a reparations king or queen.

Let’s sample some local opinion. columnist Roy S. Johnson described Tuberville’s racist rant as follows:

Last Saturday, our junior senator (God help us) spewed an inane and racist rant at a place where he felt safe doing so—a Donald Trump rally.


Appearing before a frothy crowd gathered near Lake Tahoe to support Republican Adam Laxalt in a tight U.S. Senate battle with Nevada’s incumbent Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto, Tuberville took out the old Republican bullwhip of fear, fear of them.

Johnson spoke to one of Tuberville’s former players Karlos Dansby who starred at Auburn then played 14 seasons in the NFL. Mr. Dansby was not amused: ““What [Tuberville] said was unnecessary, dead wrong, ugly.” cartoonist JD Crowe also took aim at Senator Coach Malaka:

Sen. Tommy Tuberville’s crude, ignorant, racist, fear-mongering rant about reparations is bull excrement. Apologies to bull excrement. It should be an embarrassment to Alabamians. Sadly, we’ve come to expect it.


As a former Auburn football coach, walking into Black family homes to recruit players must have been hellish for Tubby. Now liberated as an elected Alabama Republican politician, he can finally say what he really thinks about Black people.

Here’s Crowe’s cartoon:

In a word: scathing.

I took that deep dive into local opinion to remind people that not all Southerners are peckerwoods, pricks, and bigots. Sorry for breaking the alliterative string but I believe in calling a bigot a bigot and a racist a racist. I don’t use euphemisms such as “racially charged.” I’ll leave the weasel words to the MSM.

Back to the whole “soft on crime” thing. It’s projection: Republicans are soft on the crimes of the Impeached Insult Comedian, dipshit insurrectionists, and crooked politicians as long as there’s an R by their name.

Truer words were never memed. I’d like to point out that pointing is rude but not as rude as racism, Trumpism, and all the deplorable things that have resurfaced in the last seven years.

Here’s something I never thought I’d say: Tommy Tuberville is worse than Jeff Sessions. He makes Jeff Beau look like an intellectual titan when he’s really a pinhead. And that is why Senator Coach Tommy Tuberville is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to the good old Grateful Dead: