Willard Abides: Mittbot No More

I’m glad real life isn’t like science fiction. If 2012 Adrastos time traveled to 2023, past me would be shocked that I’m writing a piece in praise of Willard Mittbot Romney. I rarely use that nickname after Romney’s votes to convict Trump at his impeachment trials or his work to bring the LDS church along on the Respect For Marriage Act.

Along with Lisa Murkowski, Romney is one of the few national Republican politicians I still use the C-word to describe: Conservative. Don’t call the rest of those weenies, weasels, and wingnuts conservative. I know that I’m a broken record on that subject. That comment no longer dates me even if I prefer CDs.

I suspect you all know what I’m alluding to: the incident at the SOTU featured in the featured image. I nearly called this post When Willard Mittbot Romney met The Talented Mr. Santos but it’s too long. I also wanted to praise Romney for having the guts to call a liar a liar with the world watching. Mittbot No More.

We know that Romney told The Talented Mr. Santos: “You don’t belong here.”

Apparently, Santos told Willard that “wasn’t very Mormon” of him. It was, however, very human. Mittbot No More.

I believe “sick puppy” is the equivalent of motherfucker or lying sack of shit in Mitt’s lexicon.

I dig the end of Willard’s comment:

He said he embellished his record. Embellishing is saying you got an A when you got an A minus. Lying is saying you graduated a college you didn’t even attend.”

As Nicole Beyer or Jacques Torres would surely say at this point: NAILED IT.

I love this incident in so many ways. Romney’s picture is in the dictionary next to the phrase Mormon Nice. He’s a polite and courteous person who, in his mild-mannered way, lost his shit when he saw The Talented Mr. Santos on the aisle for the SOTU. Mittbot no more.

Romney emerged as a conviction politician in 2019 after years of trimming and flip flopping. His late father George was a conviction politician as Governor of Michigan from 1963-1969. His presidential ambitions blew up in his face after an outburst of candor about being “brainwashed” by the army brass during a trip to the Vietnam war zone.

The father’s failure to win the prize, made the son a cautious politician who didn’t campaign on his Massachusetts health care plan because it inspired the ACA. Willard advanced farther than George but lost the general election to my great relief after months of predicting that he would NOT be the first robot elected president.

Defeat liberated Willard Mitt Romney. He wouldn’t use the phrase that he’s out of fucks to give so I’ll use it for him. Would I vote for him for president? Absolutely not I’m a liberal and he’s a genuine conservative. But, as I wrote in my Dear Dad epistle to my late Republican father, simple human decency is in short supply in the GOP. It should be rewarded when it materializes.

The inside-the-beltway media is puzzled that Senator Romney got in The Talented Mr. Santos’ face. They put pols into boxes and Romney refused to stay in his box this week. Mittbot no more.

After marching with Spank in Krewe du Vieux dressed up as The Dude, I have that character on my mind. The Dude and Senator Romney have one important thing in common: simple human decency.

The Dude abides, so does Willard. Mittbot no more.

The last word goes to Bob Dylan with a song that plays a prominent part in the Coen Brothers’ The Big Lebowski: