I’ve been in the Carnival bubble, which means I missed the action on Presidents Day. One of the presidents honored is, of course, Abraham Lincoln. Marge Greene had a funny way of celebrating:

We need a national divorce.

We need to separate by red states and blue states and shrink the federal government.

Everyone I talk to says this.

From the sick and disgusting woke culture issues shoved down our throats to the Democrat’s traitorous America Last policies, we are… https://t.co/Azn8YF1UUy

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) February 20, 2023

I thought that Christian Nationalists didn’t believe in divorce. Not that I expect consistency from this dizzy-n-daft wingnut.

Rumor has it that we settled the whole secession thing in a bloody conflict that I call the War of the Rebellion, others call the Civil War, and some in the South still call the War Between The States. The secessionists lost that war and one of them murdered President Lincoln while he was watching a bad play. Sic semper tyrannis, my ass.

I’m test driving a new nickname for the QAnon Lady. Secesh was a derisive colloquial term for those who supported the Confederacy during the aforementioned conflict. It’s pronounced SEE-SESH. When you secesh, you should recognize it.

Secesh is a word that should be revived and I think assigning it to Marjorie Taylor Greene works. Secesh Marge it is.

As usual, Marge’s proposal is not a serious one. The property settlement in such a divorce would baffle any lawyer. In Marge’s home state of Georgia, who gets custody of bright blue Atlanta? In Louisiana, who gets custody of New Orleans?

Trust me, I’d rather not be ruled by the morons in the Gret Stet lege, but it’s called democracy. I believe in it. Secesh Marge does not.

Speaking of divorce:

Secesh Marge wasn’t finished shooting off her big fat baboon bazoo:

Marjorie Taylor Greene: "If Democrat voters choose to flee these Blue states…Well, once they move to a Red state, guess what? Maybe you don't get to vote for five years" pic.twitter.com/AcAPwmYXcu

— Jason Campbell (@JasonSCampbell) February 21, 2023

I told you she didn’t believe in democracy. But you knew that already.

Secesh Marge’s picture should be in the dictionary next to hare-brained scheme or half-baked idea. In addition to forever blowing smoke, Marge’s oratorical style, such as it is, involves throwing shit against the wall and seeing how much of it sticks. Now, she’s trying to put claws in the Lost Cause.

The featured image is of the Confederate Monument at Stone Mountain in Secesh Marge’s home state of Georgia. It honors three of American history biggest losers: Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis. The mountain is pure granite, which is the stuff of architectural dreams. In this instance, it’s the stuff of political nightmares.

This obscene tribute to the Lost Cause was carved by Gutzon Borglum. The same sculptor who did Mount Rushmore, which I’ll call bizarre instead of obscene. I’ll try not to think of Borglum the next time I watch North By Northwest:

Hitchcock wanted to have Cary Grant sneeze inside of a presidential nose but couldn’t, uh, pick the best way to do so. It turned out to be a hare-brained notion much like Secesh Marge’s idea of a national divorce.

Part of me hates to give Marge’s foolish ideas any oxygen. but such low hanging fruit is manna from heaven. Even though she claims to be a good Christian, I suspect that Secesh Marge doesn’t know what manna is. It’s the food Yahweh purportedly provided the Israelites when they filed for divorce from the pharaoh.

Cue the first ska song I ever heard:

As a red state liberal, I have no intention of fleeing. The only other state with a substantial Carnival is Alabama. I’m not Going Mobile and moving to an even redder state. I need my annual Carnival fix.

I hear tell that there are problems in the country with the biggest Mardi Gras celebration in the world. Moving to Brazil would be a Bozo no-no, so I’m standing my ground and staying in Orleans Parish: the blue dot in a sea of red.

No Exodus for me.

The last word goes to Bob Marley & the Wailers: