Chris Christie: Trump Destroyer?

The Impeached Insult Comedian and Gov. Asshole in happier days.

I’ve missed having Chris Christie to kick around. I know he’s been around as a pundit for ABC News but pundit mocking isn’t as much fun as politician mocking, especially one I called Gov. Asshole.

Bridgegate was a stupendously stupid scandal that helped derail CC’s 2016 White House bid. The other reason was a bigger asshole from across the Hudson River, the Impeached Insult Comedian.

Christie went to New Hampshire recently and showed some leg by holding a town hall meeting. Looks like a trial balloon for a second candidacy to me.

More importantly, former Gov. Asshole announced that he would NEVER support Trump again and that he might run. Do I take Chris Christie at his word? Hell no, but he’s been seething since CC Mach One laid an egg in 2016.

Christie surely thinks that the mouthy asshole from the Northeast lane was his before being usurped by the Kaiser of Chaos. He’s contemplating entering the field as a human hand grenade aimed at the Trump candidacy:

“You have to be fearless, because he will come back — and right at you,” Christie said. “And that means you need to think about who’s got the skill to do that, and who’s got the guts to do that, because it’s not going to end nicely.”

Christie was cagey about whether he is actually running for president again. But if he is — he’s said a decision could come in 45 to 60 days — he spelled out a clear lane for himself as Trump’s critic in chief.

Christie doesn’t see one in what is shaping up to be the 2024 Republican field.

“They’re going to wriggle right up next to him and say ‘I’m almost like him, but I’m not quite as bad,’” Christie said of his would-be rivals. “Let me tell you something, everybody. That’s going to lose as certain as he lost in ‘20, as we lost the House in ‘18, as we lost the Senate in ‘21, as we underperformed in ‘22.”

That’s the right mind set BUT he seems to think he can win as a human cannonball. I have my doubts but it will be much livelier with former Gov. Asshole in the field. Gov. D Duce Wannabe’s weakness is that he’s dull. Chris Christie has never been dull.

The Impeached Insult Comedian should be happy if the field expands. It’s how he won the nomination in 2016.

The good news for CC Mach Two is that GOPers are more tolerant of comeback candidates than Dems; viz Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan.

The most desirable outcome of a battle of obnoxious windbags is MAD. For the kids in the audience that’s Cold War speak for MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION.

Political monarch slayers rarely win the big prize. The best example I can think of is when these two British Tory titans collided in 1990:

Trust me, Margaret Thatcher and Michael Heseltine weren’t applauding one another. Heseltine was the most gifted orator of his generation of British pols. He had clashed with Thatcher, quit her cabinet, and challenged her for the top job when she became toxically unpopular. Heseltine, of course, didn’t succeed Thatcher as PM. He was a queen slayer. They rarely win the big prize.

Chris Christie is no Michael Heseltine BUT he has the right mixture of skills and attitude to take down the Kaiser of Chaos. Additionally, a Christie candidacy will vex Jared Kushner no end. Christie famously prosecuted his father, Charles who was pardoned by his father-in-law. Slumlord Jared, in turn, blocked Christie from a senior role in the Trump regime. That saved Christie from being splattered by the administration’s shit, but he didn’t break with Trump until the Dipshit Insurrection.

IF former Gov. Asshole runs it will be a grudge match between New Jersey and New York by way of Florida. It could damage the GOP enough to ensure a loss in the general election. That’s the real reason I dig the prospect of a Christie run. He was born to be a Trump destroyer.

Run Chris Run.

Destroy Chris Destroy.

The last word is the obvious one. It goes to The Kinks:

One thought on “Chris Christie: Trump Destroyer?

  1. Chris Christie floating a “trial balloon” in NH?
    More like a giant Nazi gasbag in Lakehurst, NJ.

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