Quote Of The Day: Coach Tubs Edition

The reaction on the right to the latest bull from John Durham is best described as Fast & Fatuous. Trumpers are doing a victory dance even though the report is an ambiguous muddle. I’ve skimmed the report and read stories about it. It’s unlikely that many GOPers have done that much. We know that the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian doesn’t read anything longer than a paragraph. He’s still using Durham’s bull as a weapon.

One of the worst and most predictably dumb reactions to the Durham report comes from one of the dimmer bulbs in the senate GOP caucus, Senator Coach Tommy Tuberville. Coach Tubs is a past malaka of the week and one of the more authoritarian pols in an increasingly authoritarian party.

There has always been an authoritarian strain in American politics. In the past, the Nazi, Fascist, and Commie types hedged about elections. There’s nothing subtle about Coach Tubs. Notice the extended arm in the featured image. Heil Hitler salute or play call? You decide.

Tuberville is outraged by what he’s been told is in the Durham Report:

“If people don’t go to jail for this, the American people should just stand up and say, ‘Listen, enough’s enough, let’s don’t have elections anymore. I wish there was a special investigation into the voter fraud, but it was outrageous what happened, but nobody wanted to look into it because they were afraid they were going to be called out. But it is what it is. I hate that it happened.”

I hate that a stupid jerk like you defeated a fine man like Doug Jones, but we shouldn’t abolish elections because Alabama voters made a mistake.

It’s fascinating that someone who benefitted from the electoral system wants to abolish it if he doesn’t get his way. Coach Tubs drew the *opposite* conclusion from the report, which conceded that no crimes were committed in investigating the Trump-Russia connection. Facts don’t matter to the Tommy Tubervilles of the world. He’s a stupid man with a silly name.

Tommy Tubs is on a stupid roll. He said something equally dumb and dangerous last week.

“We are losing in the military so fast. Our readiness in terms of recruitment. And why? I’ll tell you why. Because the Democrats are attacking our military, saying we need to get out the white extremists, the white nationalists, people that don’t believe in our agenda.”

It was a multi-day explosion of malakatude as Tuberville took questions from reporters following up on *that* Fast & Fatuous comment:

“You think a white nationalist is a Nazi? I don’t look at it like that. I look at a white nationalist as a Trump Republican,” Tuberville said, placing himself within their camp. “That’s what we’re called all the time, a MAGA person.”

That at least has the virtue of honesty. Unlike Louisiana Senator John Neely Kennedy, Tubs isn’t a cosplay redneck. He’s the real thing. He makes Jeff Bo Sessions look like an intellectual titan. I almost said that I pity the voters of Alabama, but they did this to themselves.

Repeat after me: Senator Coach Tommy Tuberville is a stupid man with a silly name.

The last word goes to Aimee Mann:


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