Gym Jordan: Honorary Kennedy?

Garry Wills coined the term Honorary Kennedy in his brilliant 1982 book: The Kennedy Imprisonment. It referred to the constellation of aides and associates surrounding the Kennedy brothers. They were a distinguished group: Robert McNamara, Ted Sorensen, Mac Bundy, Burke Marshall, and Arthur Schlesinger, among others.

The Kennedy political dynasty isn’t what it used to be, and neither are Honorary Kennedys. Bobby Junior has so degraded the family’s political brand with his fakakta nonsense that Gym Jordan is the latest Honorary Kennedy. I am not making this up, but I added a question mark because the whole idea makes me queasy.

Because KMac has a sense of humor, Gym Jordan chairs the House Judiciary Committee even though he never took the bar exam. I guess that makes him a semi-pro lawyer as opposed to an amateur attorney. Most lawyers wear their jackets to appear professional. Ain’t nothing professional about Gym Jordan.

Bobby Junior appeared yesterday before Jordan’s committee claiming to have been censored by the Biden administration. As always, he’s either confused or lying. Bobby Junior and his new BFF confuse criticism with censorship. That’s all he’s gotten from Team Biden, but Bobby Junior is a professional victim who is easily hurt. Who does that sound like? Is it this guy?

There was a bizarre sub-plot to the hearing involving baseball great Henry Aaron:

“House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan (R-OH) amplified a conspiracy theory peddled by anti-vaccine conspiracist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on Thursday, claiming the longshot Democratic presidential candidate was “just pointing out facts” when he tied baseball legend Hank Aaron’s death to the COVID-19 vaccine.

During yet another one of Jordan’s hearings on the “weaponization” of the federal government, the Ohio Republican defended the bogus claim while complaining that Kennedy’s Jan. 2021 tweet was flagged as “misinformation” by the White House.

“Misinformation is when you don’t have the facts right,” Jordan exclaimed. “But when you look at Mr. Kennedy’s tweet, there was nothing in there that was factually inaccurate. Hank Aaron, real person, great American, passed away after he got the vaccine. Pointing out, just pointing out facts.”

Neither Gym nor Bobby Junior would know a fact if it bit them in the ass. They should keep Henry Aaron’s name out of their dirty mouths. The baseball hall of famer was 86 years old when he died. Octogenarians have a way of departing this mortal coil without resort to conspiracy theories.

The only hall of fame Bobby Junior and Gym Jordan will ever belong to is the malakatude hall of fame that exists only in my head. They’re both experts about things that exist only in one’s own head: most of their “ideas” are either fantasies or lies. Make that fantastic lies in the original sense of the word fantastic.

House GOPers seem to think that this fakakta hearing will help Bobby Junior’s campaign. It won’t. There are so few Democratic anti-vaxxers that you could squeeze them into the stateroom scene in A Night At The Opera and still have room for the Three Stooges. Make that Two Stooges: Bobby Junior and Jacketless Gym.

Back to the post title. Gym Jordan is the worst Honorary Kennedy ever. Instead of helping Bobby Junior’s fakakta campaign, Jordan kneecapped it in his typically loud and crude fashion. Honorary Kennedys are supposed to help, not harm but everything Gym Jordan touches turns to shit. That goes for Bobby Junior too.

They don’t make Honorary Kennedys like they used to.

The last word goes to Frank Sinatra, who was once an Honorary Kennedy himself, with the tune he transformed into Jack Kennedy’s 1960 campaign theme song:

2 thoughts on “Gym Jordan: Honorary Kennedy?

  1. Hilarious take! Every presidential campaign needs comic relief. Lucky we’ve got plenty of clowns in national politics!

    1. Thanks. I had fun with this one. Any time I get to mention Garry Wills makes my day.

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