Monday August 14, 2023, will be remembered as one of the wildest days in American history. I kept telling myself that the indictments would come down Tuesday morning because of the quirks of Georgia law. Federal indictments can be sealed, that’s not the case in the Peach State. I should have known better: Fulton Country DA Fani Willis is known for her dramatic lawyering style. She did not disappoint.

Fani Willis and the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian have been on a collision course for two years. It was emotionally and symbolically satisfying to see a Southern Black woman announce the indictment of the racist and sexist former president* and his hapless henchmen. She threw everything but the kitchen sink at them and that could be forthcoming.

I’ve read the indictment, so you don’t have to. We’ve gotten spoiled by the graceful prose of the federal indictments. We’re back in the land of turgid legal language with the Georgia filing. It’s full of dense nearly impenetrable prose but the meaning is clear: The Kaiser of Chaos is in deep shit and sinking fast. He cannot pardon his way out of this mess.

I’m not going to quote chapter and verse from the indictments because I want to write a post, not a treatise. Instead, an impressionistic approach is in order.

I’m struck by the thoroughness of the charges and the boldness of charging the defendants with violations of Georgia’s RICO law. It certainly fits this case: Donald Trump has been compared to a mob boss as often as I’ve appended asterisks to his former title. That’s president* for those keeping score.

Its language may be dense. but the meaning of the indictment is clear: There was a massive conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election results. It continued as late as September of 2021. Former President* Pennywise was the driving force behind this racketeering enterprise, which is why it was so stupid. This conspiracy had a stupid leader, stupid lawyers, and an utterly stupid premise.

Trump’s second “perfect phone call” with Brad Raffi is the cherry atop this shit sundae. It made indictment inevitable but a result is will take time given how the case is structured. Repeat after me: The law is slow yesterday’s rapid pace notwithstanding.

I regard Ms. Willis’ statement that she plans to try all nineteen defendants together as an opening gambit. That’s unlikely to happen but it should lead to some of the conspirators breaking ranks to save their own asses. Jack Smith is likely to benefit from the hard shake Willis gave to the criminal tree. I hear the sound of flipping conspirators in the distance.

If Defendant Trump knew anything about music, he’d surely denounce the charges as:

On to some quick and dirty remarks about some of the other defendants:

Last week I asked, Who Cut The Chesebro? The answer turned out to be Fani Willis.

The Cheese claims attorney-client privilege but that was pierced long ago. He’s SOL on that score. For the uninitiated, that’s shit out of luck.

Chesebro is a small man who tried living large with disastrous results. I believe a Cheese reprise is in order:

Ironies abound in the indictment. Nothing is more ironic than the former US Attorney who used RICO against the Mafia being indicted on state racketeering charges. Come on down. Rudy Giuliani. He’ll be bleating and beating his drum anytime now:

I don’t have an illustration for John Eastman but that mook had it coming. He’s been bragging about his role in the coup plot, now it’s time to pay the piper. I have no idea who the piper is, but Eastman deserves to be serenaded by a band of  bagpipers to perfect his suffering. I hate bagpipes almost as much as I hate coup plotters.

I was surprised to see Mark Meadows’ name among the indictment party guests. The signs were that he’d ratted out his former colleagues, but he may have only sung to the feds. I suspect there’s a meeting with Team Smith in Meadows’ future.

It was gratifying to see the names of the mooks who tried to extort a false confession out of Ruby Freeman on Willis’ prosecutorial dance card. Come on down, Stephen Cliffgard Lee, Harrison Floyd, and Trevian Kutti. The latter was once Kanye West’s flack. It’s another example of the surreal stupidity of Team Trump. Ye gods…

Given the nature of the Georgia indictment and the number of defendants, I think Jack Smith’s coup plot case should be the first to go to trial. It has only one defendant, which limits the amount of paper defense lawyers can throw at the judge and prosecution. Tanya Chutkan is a no-nonsense jurist who already shows signs of impatience with the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian’s tiresome antics. His followers can’t get enough but the judge may have already reached her limit. Stay tuned.

A note about RICO. As a law student at Tulane, I was fortunate to have Oliver Houck as my first year criminal law professor. He taught criminal law through individual crimes; one of which was RICO. I may need to brush up on my RICO knowledge, but I have a feel for the subject. Thanks, Professor Houck.

After Monday’s indictment whirlwind, the law will resume its slow and stately pace. All of this will take time. We want prosecutors to get it right, not fast. I do, however, have some gratuitous advice for Fani Willis, Jack Smith, and Alvin Bragg. It’s time for a conference call to coordinate timing and decide who will go first. In the immortal words of Jean-Luc Picard: Make it so.

The last word goes to Roxy Music: