Golden Bachelor Recap: A Fine Pickle

The episode begins with Theresa demonstrating her weird exercise regime with mainly involves waving her arms around. She says she feels bad about the blow-up with Kathy but I don’t believe her. I know we’re supposed to hate Kathy and like Theresa, but I don’t like Theresa and I think Kathy’s anxiety is a real issue for her. Maybe The Golden Bachelor wasn’t the best thing for her to do. But Theresa could actually zip it and no one would complain.

The women have a guest—Trista Rehn, the first Bachelorette, who I learned has been married to the guy chose on the show for 20 years. I didn’t know that and I’m impressed. Trista asks the women how things are going, and you’re never going to believe this but Theresa immediately jumps in to tell her about her date with Gerry. When I rewatched the episode I saw that Ellen makes a face like someone trying not to roll their eyes once Theresa pipes up. I love Ellen.

Trista is there to let them know there is an upcoming group date and everyone except the person Gerry has chosen for a one-on-one date will participate. Leslie gets the date and everyone else heads off to play pickleball. You know Ellen is psyched because back home she’s captain of a pickleball team and plays 4 times a week.

Everyone seems to play pretty well, apart from whomever hit a ball that whacked one of the spectators in the stomach—ouch. April fakes an injury to get Gerry’s attention, but then she winks at the camera and tells us that she’s not really hurt. Somehow I don’t think this is going to help her. And it won’t be a surprise to learn that Ellen and Kathy win.

We also learn later while everyone is showered and lounging at the pickleball club that Sandra has missed her daughter’s wedding to take part in the show. Gerry calls her aside and confirms this is true, and they call her daughter. And of course, Sandra gets the group date rose.

In the meantime, Theresa takes Kathy aside. Ugh. Why? Kathy again explains that Theresa’s oversharing makes her very anxious and asks her to “zip it”.

Gerry says that he learned something from Trista—that he should stop looking for the woman he can live with and start looking for someone he can’t live without. Next we see him talking with Ellen, and she says she misses the simple things, like someone to ask you how your day was. Gerry immediately agrees.

Faith tells him she held back from him today because what she has is so precious. So precious that seeing other women with him destroys it? This is still a contest, and you probably want Gerry to know you’re still interested.

Gerry talks with Theresa and she starts with thanking him for coming to her room. He asks for her thoughts since then. She thought everyone would get a date and share it. And then she rats Kathy out and lies about what Kathy said to her. So now you know Kathy is going home because Gerry doesn’t like strife.

Gerry does ask Kathy about Theresa and what happened earlier that afternoon. Kathy tells him she didn’t come to fight and when people talk about their deep connection it hurts the feelings of women who haven’t had the same experience (because they haven’t had meaningful time with Gerry). Gerry points out that he did give Kathy a special rose and he spent time with her too.  Yes, 5 minutes of chatting is the same as people going on fabulous dates or having long talks with him. Look it’s OK for him not to like Kathy, but she’s being vulnerable and speaking from the heart about her insecurity.

On to the one-on-one date where Leslie is dropped off in the middle of nowhere. Gerry shows up on a 4 wheeler for them to go riding around. Does the show want to injure these people? We learn that Leslie has never had a true partnersh and tells Gerry she has been divorced twice and that she was a single mother. Her kids have her back, and she feels that same support with Gerry. She’s been single for 22 years. Gerry says she’s opened up and given a piece of herself.  Gerry said “I love the way you look at me” and that he needs to see that in the person he’s getting serious about. They get in a hot tub and he gives her a rose.

First, is the twice divorced info going to change Gerry’s mind about Leslie? Second, can we talk about “I love the way you look at me” as a criterion for getting serious with someone? I cringed when he said it.

Back at the mansion the women play Never Have I Ever, but with ice cream instead of alcohol. Sandra has to keep taking spoonfuls and she tells us she is lactose intolerant. Later we learn that all that ice cream has made Sandra sick and that Nancy has a stress fracture from pickleball.

At the cocktail party Gerry tells them how great they all are. He first takes Susan aside first and gives her a piece of rose quartz, which he says represents empathy and strength, 2 qualities she and his wife share. It feels like a consolation prize to me. Susan is great—open, helpful, funny, generous.

Ellen says it’s hard being older and falling in love and then tells Gerry that she’s falling in love with him. Gerry feels her emotion and says he’s in the same place, and that the last time someone looked at him like that and said those things to him he was with his wife. He thought the world had ended and that he’d never see that kind of love again. Ellen is great. (And so is Susan.)

Nancy does the best thing ever:  she says she’s noticed that he’s more passionate with other women because he’s just not that into her, so she removes herself from the competition. GOOD FOR HER for saving her dignity and not letting Gerry discard her. Theresa’s not crying but everyone else is when Nancy says good-bye.

Not surprisingly, Kathy and April go home. Kathy takes it very well because she already knows what is coming. She feels they’ve made a connection—yes, they have, but it’s the

wrong kind. I like Kathy because she says “I am who I am”.  I think April was just too eccentric for Gerry, which is fine. She doesn’t seem to be too broken up about leaving and why would she be since she’s never pretended to be in love with Gerry.

I’m worried about my girl Susan. We’ll see what happens next.

This is for Nancy: