The featured image comes from the 1843 edition of A Christmas Carol. I’m not sure which reveler is young Ebenezer Scrooge, but I know he’s there somewhere. Perhaps I should say the magic words “bah, humbug” and he’ll appear…

This week’s theme song was written by Chris Isaak for his 2004 album, Christmas. Christmas On TV is a swell song with lyrics that reference It’s A Wonderful Life. What’s more Christmassy than that?

This next tune is essentially The Sheikh  Of Araby with holiday lyrics.

While we’re on the subject of television, my two favorite teevee tunes:

I didn’t want y’all to think I’d gone soft, so I threw some Zappa in the mix. I suggested I’m The Slime as the theme song for David Vitter’s 2015 Gret Stet goober campaign. I miss having Diaper Dave to kick around but I’m glad he’s out of public office.

We begin our second act with another trip across the pond.

UK Villains Of 2023: The holidays are all about lists. I call it List-o-Mania. Next week in this space, you’ll see my own annual list, The Best Of Adrastos. 

John Crace is the Guardian’s parliamentary diarist and one of the UK’s leading political satirists. He’s the one who dubbed robotic former PM Theresa May, The Maybot. The nickname stuck and spread far and wide.

Crace has compiled a list of the UK’s top political villains for the past year. You’ll recognize some of them and will learn about other dastardly deeds and scandals. Today’s Tory party is almost as crazy and corrupt as today’s GOP.

Was The Grinch a Brit? The great Boris Karloff voiced the character, after all. I think he’d like Aimee’s version.

In addition to its more salubrious aspects, Christmas is a time for family gatherings and the odd family fight.

Cousinage: Extended families aren’t what they used to be according to Faith Hill in her excellent Atlantic piece, The Great Cousin Decline.

I have ten first cousins. I only knew one of them well, but she died in 2020. My knowledge of my other cousins is sketchy: I tend to see them only at family funerals.  It’s a pity but that’s why so many of us have family by choice. In my experience, those relationships are more fragile but still worth having.

Enough with the familial gloom. Read Hill’s piece and contemplate your own cousinage.

The last word of the segment goes to Steely Dan with a song about a creepy cousin:

I’m relieved that I don’t have a cousin like Dupree. I have at least two Trumper cousins one of whom disowned me in a comment on this post, My Uncle Was A ‘Loser.’ The comment was so OTT nasty that I deleted it.

Oh well, what the hell. Let’s move on to a teevee series I had low expectations for but ended up digging.

Archie: The Archie of the title is Archibald Leach DBA Cary Grant. Grant had a genuinely Dickensian childhood: his father committed his mother to an asylum and dumped young Archie on his cranky grandmother. That arrangement didn’t last long and Archie Leach embarked on a show biz career that led him to be one of the best loved stars in cinematic history. Archie/Cary, however, never felt loved because he was starved of it as a child.

The series is based on Grant’s third wife Dyan Cannon’s memoirs. Cannon and their daughter Jennifer Grant produced the series. It’s remarkable that a series with such provenance depicts Archie/Cary is such a balanced fashion. Mercifully, Dyan Cannon is no Christina Crawford.

There’s a swell interview with Dyan Cannon at Salon. It explains a lot about the genesis of the series.

Jason Isaacs plays the older Cary Grant. Quite correctly, he did THE VOICE, but he doesn’t come off as an impressionist. Isaacs balked at the idea of playing Cary Grant but took the role when he realized he was playing Archie, not Cary who Grant treated as a fictional charter.

Laura Aikman plays Dyan Cannon and the resemblance is uncanny. Here she is with Isaacs as Archie/Cary:

Holy separated at birth, Batman.

Here’s the trailer:

Archie is streaming on BritBox.

Grading Time: I give this 4-part series 3 1/2 stars and an Adrastos Grade of B+. It’s must-see teevee for classic movie fans. Rumor has it that I’m one.

The last word of our second act goes to Judy Garland with the de facto theme song of the Grant-Hepburn-Hawks classic, Bringing Up Baby:

We begin our third act with our favorite stolen feature.

Separated At Birth Casting Edition: Miracle On 34th Street has been made three times. Each movie starred a British actor as Kris Kringle. I give you Edmund Gwenn, Sebastian Cabot, and Richard Attenborough.

Thus far this has been a holiday post without any music by Brian Setzer. It’s time to rectify that omission.

Your Weekly Oscar: OP was not above recording Christmas music. I suspect you’re familiar with both songs.

Have I told you lately how much I love Oscar Peterson?

The Best Of Johnny: I’ve been told that I resemble Steve Martin. I’m not certain about that but I am certain that Martin is a funny man. Here’s some Santa shtick:

Saturday GIF Horse: Cary Grant tried to be dignified in his daily life. That did not apply to the great screwball comedy, Bringing Up Baby.

Dig that fluffy robe and the sideways stroll, y’all. Archie/Cary was a comedic genius.

Things You Don’t Know About Me: I was a sickly child. Among other maladies,  I had the mumps and mono at the same time. I was groggy and puffy. It was not a good look for me or anyone else for that matter.

Let’s close down this virtual honky tonk with some more music.

Saturday Closer: What’s a pre-Christmas post without The Kinks?

Bah humbug. Merry Fucking Christmas.

That’s all for this week. The last word goes to Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in Archie’s greatest film Notorious: