Last week the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that embryos are unborn children and cannot be destroyed. This includes the frozen embryos that are part of the in-vitro fertilization procedure, an expensive and time-consuming option for women who have difficulties getting pregnant.

It’s super easy to debunk this ruling using science:  an embryo isn’t a child, and although (1) I am not a scientist and (2) I have not conducted any scientific experiments in this vein, I am 100% sure that if I were to put a child in the freezer, unlike the frozen embryos used in IVF, it would die, thus proving that frozen embryos are not children.

But the eye-popping part of the ruling isn’t the silly legal reasoning:  it’s the concurrence from the court’s Chief Justice, Tom Parker, who cites—as the basis of his LEGAL reasoning—the King James bible, Thomas Aquinas, John Calvin, the Geneva Bible, and the sixth commandment specifically. And then he concludes that section with this:

In summary, the theologically based view of the sanctity of life adopted by the People of Alabama encompasses the following: (1) God made every person in His image; (2) each person therefore has a value that far exceeds the ability of human beings to calculate; and (3) human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God, who views the destruction of His image as an affront to Himself.

Section 36.06 recognizes that this is true of unborn human life no less than it is of all other human life — that even before birth, all human beings bear the image of God, and their lives cannot be destroyed without effacing his glory.

Now one thing I am is a Christian, and one of those goes-to-church-every-Sunday ones to boot. I may not be a scientist, but I know a little bit about theology and I can tell you this:  that stuff is all complete crap. And even if it were true, there is no role for the government in any decisions made about IVF. Nowhere does it say in the bible, the 10 commandments, the works of Thomas Aquinas, or John Calvin that people get to impose their peculiar religious viewpoints on to other members of their civil society. In addition to the sexism and patriarchy of the ruling, this reliance on completely specious, non-legal sources is a slap in the face.

And, as it turns out, Parker is a religious extremist:

During a recent interview on the program of self-proclaimed “prophet” and QAnon conspiracy theorist Johnny Enlow, Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Tom Parker indicated that he is a proponent of the “Seven Mountain Mandate,” a theological approach that calls on Christians to impose fundamentalist values on all aspects of American life.

Enlow is a pro-Trump “prophet” and leading proponent of the “Seven Mountain Mandate,” a “quasi-biblical blueprint for theocracy” that asserts that Christians must impose fundamentalist values on American society by conquering the “seven mountains” of cultural influence in U.S. life: government, education, media, religion, family, business, and entertainment.

[deletia]

 Parker discussed his “call” to what Enlow called the “mountain of government,” and later told Enlow that he appreciates what he’s done by “giving us the overview and the vision that allows us to really contemplate what God is calling each of us to for our role on those Seven Mountains.” 

Enlow praised Parker, telling him he’s “in such a key place that we don’t want to have any conversations that hurt you in any kind of way, but we appreciate who you are, who you are in the kingdom.” 

This is what is on the ballot in 2024. And 2026, 2028, 2030, and on and on until we can vote all of these assholes out of office and get these useless judges replaced. It’s exhausting and depressing but it’s got to be done, because they’re planning even worse things.

But that’s for a later post. Here’s the ear worm I gave myself writing this: