I have a longstanding interest in the Vice Presidency. Instead of counting sheep when I can’t sleep, I count Veeps backwards. It works: I often conk out when I get to Truman’s Veep Alben Barkley. FYI, he embraced being called the Veep. It was, of course, before Selina Meyer.
During one of the many “Biden is too damn old” meltdowns by the legacy media, I wrote about the role of the Veep and Kamala Harris’ fitness to step in for President Biden. The step happened but I forgot to quote Gore Vidal until now:
That felt good. Let’s get on with it.
It struck me yesterday that this is an unusually Veep-centric campaign. Former Veep Biden passed the baton to his Veep. Former Veep Dick Cheney has endorsed Joe’s Veep. Trump’s Veep is refusing to support him and the two Veep nominees are surprisingly consequential. On the positive side of the equation, Tim Walz; on the negative side that fucking donut JD Vance.
Nothing about the 2024 presidential race is normal: from the Biden-Harris switch to the convicted felon nominated by the GOP. His crimes may be the most normal thing about him. His cognitive issues are finally being covered by some in the legacy medica. Check this out from the WaPo’s Ashley Parker:
The former president’s imaginary world is a dark, dystopian place, described by Trump in his rallies, interviews, social media posts and debate appearances to paint an alarming picture of America under the Biden-Harris administration.
It is a distorted, warped and, at times, absurdist portrait of a nation where the insurrectionists who stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, to deadly effect were merely peaceful protesters, and where unlucky boaters are faced with the unappealing choice between electrocution or a shark attack. His extreme caricatures also serve as another way for Trump to traffic in lies and misinformation, using an alternate reality of his own making to create an often terrifying — and, he seems to hope — politically devastating landscape for his political opponents.”
I hope Parker is happy at the WaPo. The NYT will never bring her back after this article. Their political reporters are in denial about the madness of wannabe King Donald. Mercifully, the news side is covering Trump’s depraved depredations. The editorial side needs to wake up and smell the coffee before their inevitable endorsement of the Democratic ticket makes them look ridiculous.
End of relevant digression. Back to the Veeps.
Tim Walz is proving to be an enormous asset to Team Harris. He’s a likeable down to earth guy who knows how to work on your car.
The GOP’s attempt to swift boat Walz failed miserably. I worried about it beforehand because Trump campaign honcho Chris LaCivita was behind the dastardly attacks on John Kerry in 2004. In 2024, the attempted swift boating of Walz sank without a trace.
Walz is an excellent orator and a helluva funny guy. His small town school teacher and football coach bona fides present a stark contrast to that fucking donut and arch-weirdo JD Vance.
It’s unclear if Walz is putting any points on the electoral scoreboard but it’s obvious that Vance is subtracting points from Team Trump with his abnormal fixation on breeding and pet-eating. What is he, a Doula? There should be a Dule Hill pun in there somewhere. Here it is: Walz is going to The West Wing and Vance is going back to Peter Thiel to lick his wounds and plan his next step. It will not involve constituent service as the people of Springfield Ohio know all too well. What a fucking donut.
Vice President Harris is kicking ass on the campaign trail in this Veepiest of years. Her favorable ratings have shot up as people learn more about her combination of toughness and kindness. Repeat after me: I told you so.
The current Veep candidates are debating next Tuesday, I still hate debates but I’ll cover it like the Philadelphia Beatdown, which I must admit to enjoying. Expect that fucking donut JD Vance to try and lie his way out of everything. Who me, misogynist?
Dick Cheney and Mike Pence aren’t the only living former Veeps. There’s Biden, Gore, and J Danforth Quayle. There was no internet, so I missed out on writing about the man who ragged on Murphy Brown and couldn’t spell the plural of potato. What can I tell you?
I’m looking forward to seeing a new Veep map thingamabob adding Tim Walz next January. Just win, baby.
It’s time for the last word double header.
The musical last word goes to Al Stewart. Just change Cat to Veep or even Cat Lady and Bob’s your uncle. He’s been catty lately.
The countdown last word is owned by Harold Lloyd.
