We begin the week with a repeat offender. Kristi Noem first wore the malakatude crown of thorns for writing about her past puppy killing exploits while governor of South Dakota. As Secretary of Homeland Security, she’s gained the nickname of ICE Barbie because of her bizarre photo-ops. She recently took her cosplay to a new level. And that is why Kristi Noem is malaka of the week.

I have not posted the worst of Malaka Noem’s photo-ops. Nobody needs a repeat viewing of this sadistic nitwit posing in front of tattooed prisoners in El Salvador. I picked the stupidest of the photo-ops: Notice that the barrel of her gun is pointed at the guy to her left. I may not know much about guns, but I know better than to point them at someone’s head. If something went wrong, she’d have blood and bits of brain all over her. That would be the first time brains were in Noem’s ambit…

The photo-ops, idiotic though they may be, are not the reason for this post. A Hunger Games style reality show proposal from the bozo behind Duck Dynasty is why Noem is a repeat offender:

“The Department of Homeland Security has been working with writer and producer Rob Worsoff to pitch a reality TV show—titled The American—where immigrants will compete in a string of challenges across the country “for the honor of fast-tracking their way to U.S. citizenship,” according to the Daily Mail.

Citing a copy of Worsoff’s 35-page program pitch, the Daily Mail reported that the Canadian-born producer aims to “celebrate what it means to be American and have a national conversation about what it means to be American, through the eyes of the people who want it most.” Worsoff is best known for producing the A&E reality show Duck Dynasty.”

It gets worse:

“The program pitch reportedly starts with 12 pre-vetted contestants arriving at Ellis Island in New York City aboard “The Citizen Ship.” The show’s host—preferably a “famous, naturalized American” like Colombian Sofia Vergara or Canadian Ryan Reynolds—will welcome them with a personalized baseball glove.

Contestants would then travel from state to state aboard a train called “The American” to learn about each region’s history and culture and compete in themed contests, ranging from balancing on logs in Hayward, Wisconsin, to building and launching a rocket in Florida’s Cape Canaveral, which houses a major NASA hub.”

I assume that this asinine proposal has been leaked by DHS staffers appalled that this is under consideration. Noem’s spokesperson has denied her involvement but she’s doing what MAGA maggots do best: LIE.

I admit to liking some trash TV, but Duck Dynasty was never on my list of guilty pleasures. Now that I think of it, a new reality show about the current first family could be called Dick Dynasty. Don Junior has a beard; all he’d have to do is grow it out as long as those sported by the dicks of Duck Dynasty:

The cast of the Louisiana based reality show are notorious wingnuts who last came to my attention when the patriarch duck dick supported Bobby Jindal’s abortive 2016 run for president. Just thinking about them makes me want to do this:

While we’re on the subject of critters, the spokes-reptile for the duck and cover campaign was Bert the Turtle:

The Federal Civil Defense Administration was folded into FEMA in 1977. Noem has infamously suggested that FEMA be abolished just in time for hurricane season. The malakatude, it burns.

The cretins appointed by the Kaiser of Chaos are so terrible that Noem didn’t even make my Top Ten Stupid MAGA Tricks: Bad Appointees Edition list. Consider her number eleven on the list for her performative gunslinging and costuming. The thirsty malakatude, it burns.

In her various cosplay performances, Kristi Noem thinks she’s wearing her game face. Instead, she’s wearing her MAGA face:

I don’t usually comment on the appearance of female news makers but that before and after shot captures the shallowness and stupidity of Kristi Noem. She looks like a normie in the before shot but resembles past malakas of the week Laura Loomer and Kimberly Guilfoyle in the after image. Oy, just oy.

The mere notion of a Hunger Games style reality show supported by the DHS is appalling. It should have been rejected out of hand as tacky and tasteless, but ICE Barbie is almost as thirsty for attention as the Insult Comedian. And that is why Kristi Noem is malaka of the week.

Repeat after me: The Hunger Games style reality show idea is from hunger.

The last word goes to Lou Reed with a song whose title sums up this week’s honoree:

Is it just me or does anyone else think glam era Lou Reed has a vague resemblance to Malaka Noem?

One is holding a guitar and the other a rifle, but their makeup is quite similar. Apologies to Lou Reed fans everywhere.

That is all.