Real American War Criminals

From Holden:

Bud Light Presents: Real American War Criminals

(Real Amer-ican War Crim-in-als)

Today we salute you, Mr. American War Criminal.

(Mr. Kiss-in-ger and Mr. Bu-ush!)

Whether it’s plotting the assasination of Chilean General Rene Schneider or implementing a policy of torture and disappearances, you’ve shown us that no moral code is inviolable.

(WAR for oil!)

While one of you rivals Pol Pot for the dubious honor of being the person responsible for the death of the largest number of innocent people in South East Asia…

(Stack those SKULLS ever high-er!)

The other is second only to Saddam Hussein in the number of innocent Iraqis killed by your policies.

(Second to Sad-da-am.)

But you two will always have something in common – Napalm.

(CRIS-py chil-il-il-dren.)

So crack open a Bud Light – use a dead mother’s eye-socket as a bottle opener. Because we salute you, Mr. American War Criminal!

(Mr. Amer-ican War Crim-in-al)

Jason Reed/Reuters