Hey, Jagoff

Oh no! The Red State Strike Force! I’m quaking in my boots, someone get me some clean underwear, whatever will we–oh, I just can’t keep this up.

Some people make it their goal to place themselves beyond parody. If you know anyone like this, point that person to Erick Erickson at Red State–he will show that person the way. I swear to god, I am not making this up.


If you are interested in being a part of the Army of Redstate
Activists in your state, please fill out the form below. We’ll post
this on a regular basis.

Let’s organize.

Oh? An army, huh? Well, you know, there’s areal army that actually needs volunteers these days, you chickenhawk manatee-looking wads of fuck. Really, and I know other people have tried, you can’t even mock this idea. It’s so mind-numbingly stupid and egotistical that it defies parody. All you can do is tell people about it and let them laugh/shake their heads in disbelief.

I’m sure they’ll all shout “Wolverines!” every time they go on a raid. And by “go on a raid” I mean “go to the kitchen and eat all the Mallomars right out of the box while standing in front of the counter wearing a Chee-to-stained terrycloth robe.” But that’s too long for a slogan. You need something pithy for that. Something like “I just can’t keep this up.”

7 thoughts on “Hey, Jagoff

  1. I don’t understand this whole “red state” thing. Isn’t that the color the commies go by? Is it because Nancy Reagan always wore red? I mean, “red state”? Sounds kind of… pink… to me. Snazzy badge, though.

  2. Fucking worthless wads of goo. “Red State Strike Force”? Gimme a goddamn break.
    I’ve always found cowards to be irritating and disgusting, kind of like slugs and tapeworms. But slugs and tapeworms have purpose in this great green world. You can’t write a mockery of these fuckwads. They’re a walking, talking natural farce. They seem to exist just to irritate us. Like diaper rash or jock rot.
    I’m an old grizzled DFH from a small little bump on the ass of the world, more liberal than most and as shrill as can be and I still found the guts to serve a hitch in the Navy. Did my time, got the pocket jewelry, had a great fucking time and revel in the experience so I can relate to things military.
    These pock-marked worthless bags of mostly water turn my stomach. I guess every society has its underbelly; its creepy, gooey slime that congeals in the dark corners of the basement. It’s just that ours has broadband.
    But, like every other denizen of the dark, the remedy to this vermin is the bright light of truth and courage. All that we need now is a good spotlight to accomplish this.

  3. I’m wondering if perhaps a “strike force” could be construed as a terrorist organization? And should have the appropriate police participation in keeping an eye on it?

  4. I thought wingers were, you know, opposed to striking. So is Red State gonna go all Norma Rae on us now?

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