Once Again, Black People Fail to Please Bill O’Reilly

It’s hard out here for a simp:

So Bill
O’Reilly and his twin blondes of the apocalypse would like to know
where all the mourning black people were when John Lennon died or something. Leave aside that no one is required to mourn anyone, that you
should love people while they’re alive and then recognize that after their deaths it’s about you and not them, that
everybody deals with death differently. Leave aside that this isn’t a
contest of pop culture death bingo or something where you have to fill in all the squares of people you’ve grieved for in equal measure. I just don’t know where on earth Bill O’Reilly gets the idea that anybody’s process of dealing with the death of someone whose work was important to them is in any way even a thing. I mean, the fuck does he care?
While we’re on the MJ topic, I so loathe the pressure to conform
to group grieving on cultural pundit command. It’s a transparently fake
attempt to create a sense of national “unity” around something that
more often than not doesn’t actually affect those coping out loud on
television. I felt this way when Princess Diana died and I felt this
way on 9/11 and shortly thereafter, like, it’s not Good Morning
America’s job to tell me what to be sad about and how to talk to my
children about how the world is full of assholes who suck, and it’s not
my job to grab a piece of somebody else’s tragedy and hold on tight to
give my life temporary and pathetic importance.
Mike calls this the Oprah effect, in that newscasters hope to glom
onto some guru’s popularity by doing the same thing she does,
completely forgetting that THAT’S NOT THEIR JOB and it’s bullshit
besides, like, not everybody needs to be told how to talk to their
children. Some people, by virtue of not being complete fucktards, know
how to do it all on their own. Whenever Matt Lauer or some similar
featherhead comes on TV to tell me how to cope all I can think is how
satisfying it would be to kick the kind advice-giver really hard in the
genitals. Which I guess is a coping mechanism, albeit one not usually
prescribed by Dr. Phil.

Still, it’s about as stupid to tell someone not to grieve as it is to tell someone to do so, and I don’t think O’Reilly’s vast black viewership is going to be heartbroken that they missed the chance to satisfy him.

A.

5 thoughts on “Once Again, Black People Fail to Please Bill O’Reilly

  1. dr2chase says:

    Wait, Bill O’Reilly paid attention to Lennon’s death? That sounds a little out of character for him — I mean, after all, Lennon was a DFH, along with all his fans, right?

  2. MapleStreet says:

    Odd. There were an awful lot of white folks on TV also.
    I wonder if a lot of it was that the Beatles and Jackson are a different generation.
    Of course, Fallufah boy really just wants to stir up hatred no matter what the issue. Kind of reminds me of the Sci-Fi monsters that feed on human negative emotions.

  3. pansypoo says:

    i am sort of questioning perceptions of MJ. molestation or reliving his childhood he never had? tho still weird. not a big fan, so i could care less.

  4. The Other Sarah says:

    So, Athenae:
    Let’s figure out how to kick Dr. Phil really hard in the nads, and not get skwished to death in the avalanche of fatuity when he crumbles to the deck.
    Would solve Oprah, too…
    Gah. What happened to objectivity, factual reporting, and keeping your (proper or not) sensibilities confined to the edi page?

  5. Interrobang says:

    What the everlasting blue flippingfuck is wrong with those two’s facial expressions in that freeze-frame still? Do theyalways look that smug and self-righteous in a High School Mean Girl kind of way, or is it just me.

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