It was a malakatudinous week, which made this a difficult choice. I
decided to pass on the easiest targets although Massa Malaka has a
certain ring to it but he’s just a common garden variety malaka. That
lying sack of shit Bart Stupak was also a contender but I decided to
make him a bum, which is what he is. Instead, I’ve picked the petulant
Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court. Why? We have oodles of
opportunities to mock the Supremes for their cases but very few chances
to mock their public statements. Supremes should be seen and not heard
but Chief Justice Roberts either didn’t get that memo or threw it away in a
fit of pique. One should never be able to get a peek at a Justice’s
pique.

Some six weeks after President Obama criticized the
Supremes for the decision in the Citizens United case, Roberts went to
Alabama and did a bit of venting. I guess the Chief had been stewing
over Obama’s critique: he might have been better off if he’d emulated
JusticeScalito Alito and scowled and shook his head during the SOTU.
At leastScalitoAlito got it off his chest. In a fit of malakatude,
Roberts made like JJ Cale and let it all hang down or is that hang
out?Here are the money quotes from the AP’s story on the Chief’s lament:

U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts said Tuesday the scene at President
Barack Obama’s State of the Union address was “very troubling” and the
annual speech has “degenerated to a political pep rally.”<SNIP>

Roberts said anyone was free to criticize the court and that some have an obligation to do so because of their positions. “So
I have no problems with that,” he said. “On the other hand, there is
the issue of the setting, the circumstances and the decorum. The image
of having the members of one branch of government standing up,
literally surrounding the Supreme Court, cheering and hollering while
the court — according the requirements of protocol — has to sit there
expressionless, I think is very troubling.”

The
thing that bugs me the most is Roberts’ complaining about a POLITICAL
speech turning into a partisan pep rally. I seem to recall similar
scenes when the Goopers were in the White House. The SOTU is the
sitting President’s take on the body politic and his supporters in
Congress usually whoop it up. I don’t recall Tom Delay and the gang
sitting on their hands when W spoke to Congress. I hate people
who complain about politicians acting like, uh, politicians. It’s what
they do, it’s who they are. Expecting a pol not to be partisan is like expecting a Penguin to fly or
Keanu Reeves NOT to be wooden. Never gonna happen, my friend.

It’s also folly for Roberts to start something he cannot finish: a verbal sparring match with the White House. The political branches operate under fewer constraints than the Judiciary: there is no way the Chief Justice can out punch Robert Gibbs and his boss. Roberts should STFU and stop being such a whiny malaka.

Finally, what’s Roberts solution to the non-existent SOTU decorum problem? Should the Surpemes arrive armed with custard pies to fling at offending pols who dare to criticize them? That would be entertaining but wouldn’t do much to restore decorum to the House. (Btw, decorum is for the Senate and not the House chamber. The latter is a rowdier body, which is why I prefer it.) Perhaps Roberts should stay home and pout with Nino and Clarence. That’s the malaka’s way out. What the Chief needs to do is to grow a thicker skin and stop being not only a malaka but a cry baby.