Pledge for America to Pledge America’s American Pledges

And stuff. It’s the Big Font, Small Ideas plan to take America back to the glorious days of the first Bush administration, with the fearmongering of the second thrown in just, you know, for fun.

Not surprisingly, written by total aholes.

The Democrats, natch, have absorbed the dominant narrative (Time magazine, which arrives at my house despite my best efforts to convince Mr. A it is trash, features a big cover headline: IT’S TEA PARTY TIME) that Republicans are going to sweep and there’s nothing to be doneso fuck it, let’s barricade the doors and drink because that meteorite is heading right for earth.

Democrats are worried that the enthusiasm gap among voters in the two states could be exacerbated if it appears by Election Day that Republicans are headed for blowout victories in the marquee races.

“There’s no question it’s a problem. When the top of the ticket is hurting, it absolutely makes it more difficult for a Democrat in a swing district to win,” said a Democratic strategist who has worked in both states. “Voters will be looking at the gubernatorial race and going, ‘If [Ohio Gov. Ted] Strickland is down 10 points, why the heck am I going to go out and vote?'”

You know what else dampens the fuck out of my enthusiasm? Talking all the goddamn time about how insufficiently enthusiastic I am. I mean, quit bitching about how I’m not excited and go fucking do some stuff to get me excited. God. I know political blogs are wonk-city and strategy is all we talk about, but so far, as a voter I haven’t seen anything but strategy talk either. And that strategy talk sucks. Meanwhile, you have a Republican-dominated media determined to push the agenda that Republicans are resurgent and on a comeback and such, supported by these awesome Tea Party folks and their fantastic new party that is sweeping the nation. There’s no pushback. There’s no answer.

There’s no saying look, have we done everything we could do? Fuck no, it’s only been two years since we had a president who wasn’t a mad boy king, plus his friends all wrecked the economy, not that it was ever that awesome anyway. In response, Republicans want to take away the few ways we all still take care of each other. If you get sick, there will be no health care for you. If you lose your job, you won’t be able to collect unemployment for more than ten minutes. When you get old, your pension and your social security will be unaffordable because we have wars to fight instead. And if you should get injured fighting one of those wars, just move somewhere warm where being homeless is fun. We’re all pissed off everything’s not fixed yet, but when a plumber’s only half-done repairing the plumbing he told you would be done by now, you don’t fire him and hire an alchemist.

Is it the midterms, is that what this is? In 2002 it was Timid City, please don’t hurt us Mr. Republican, I’ll be very very good. It was hunker down in the face of the horror, and give people a choice between gutless and senseless, which is how we ended up with Norm Coleman and Saxby Fucking Chambliss and other stuff that got elected just because it had an R after its name.

But then in 2006, after, natch, Bush was so fucked there was no turning back anyway, Democrats grew a pair and started presenting a solid Not This message, and people responded to being able to vote for real live grown-ups who had something to say by doing so. One would think the party would take a goddamn lesson, but they seem to have stopped listening to their instincts and have gone back to listening to Chris Matthews’ racist uncles and stuff people say on the Sunday shows.

I know this is all I seem to say these days, but: Schmucks.


20 thoughts on “Pledge for America to Pledge America’s American Pledges

  1. What goofballs!
    3 things that jump off the page to me are:
    1) They are protesting the monster that they created. They say “An uncheckedexecutive, a compliant legislature, and an overreaching judiciary have combined to thwart the will of the people and overturn their votes …”
    Who advanced the unitary executive??
    How did the repub legislature of the 2000s fight Bush?
    Who won the presidency on a questionable court decision which cancelled a recount?
    2) The same solution applies to everything. We will end world povery and bring world peace by lowering taxes for the upper tax bracket. When your only tool is a hammer, all the world is a nail, even if you work in a glass factory.
    3) No real numbers. Just “could”.

  2. Amen, Athenae.
    I’m fucking of the Dem leaders telling me it’s my fault they’re gutless spineless fuckups whose only question when corporations say Jump! is How high?
    It’s not like I’ve been coy — I told them what I wanted in ’08, I’ve repeatedly told them since and what do I get for my pains?
    Well, the president’s chief advisor called me “fucking retarded”, the president himself has spent the last couple of weeks insulting me at every big fund raiser he goes to, and then they chide me for a lack of enthusiasm?
    Fuck these fucking fucks every fucking way possible.

  3. Gummo, I just slipped in another “fuck” in that missing word spot, figuring I couldn’t go wrong.
    When the entire mainstream media is controlled by big corporations or directly by the Repub party, it is hard to get any positive message out about Democrats. Yes, the polls say the generic Repubs are leading the generic Democrats, but Congressional races are between actual candidates. A meaningful poll would be a 50 state poll with individual polls about each of 437 seats. That could be work, and it is much easier to fake a poll with generic candidates, so that’s all we get. Of course, if a Repub actual candidate really is close to his Democratic opponent, that does merit a big headline and it gets it. But, no vice versa.
    Now the Repubs are demonstrating the utter stupidity of their voters again by publishing this sheet of toilet paper (several sheets, actually) and expecting, with good justification, to have what is wiped onto those sheets to be impressive to their voters.
    I’m a bit disappointed in Obama, but my real disappointment is in the 50% of the voters who just can’t break the habit of demonstrating their stupidity.

  4. Damn, Athenae! I’m just glad Coach Eaves doesn’t have you talking to the Badgers before their games.
    Now, please, send this to that miserable, spineless Harry Reid. Be sure to cc the President.

  5. Biden pissed me off the other night on Maddow, scolding/urging progressives to get out there and fight back. First, the WH ain’t got no business acting like progressives are their base, second, give us some freaking leadership to line up behind.
    Third, act like fucking DEMOCRATS.

  6. You know what else dampens the fuck out of my enthusiasm? Talking all the goddamn time about how insufficiently enthusiastic I am.
    Yes. This, on steroids.
    And Chris Hayes had the nerve to Tweet yesterday that we could all get on the phone and knock on some doors if we wanted to avert disaster. You know maybe they should have thought of that before Rahm called us fucking retards.

  7. This appears to be a Cheap Labor Pledge on the part of the Republicans. They really are a bunch of sociopaths, I swan.
    I am become deeply concerned that so many people are taking the “cut off your nose to spite your face” position with regard to GOTV.
    I don’t know who besides Rahm was stupid enough to think that all we had to do was win the election and everyone could go sit down and shut up and let them take care of business. Oh, and be sure to demonstrate sufficient gratitude from under the bus.

  8. So this broad comes over wearing a wife beater and Daisy Dukes. She was on her break from her job as a piano mover. “Bust a chubby,” she barks. “Let’s go! Atten Hut!” she demands after three seconds.
    I sit, unstirred.
    She knees a hooter out of her wife beater. It resembles a flapjack with burnt spots. My own body by Michelin remains inert.
    “Come to, stud, or all you’ll have left is my sister, the mechanic.”
    I remained insufficiently excited.

  9. the left gave up after death panels it seems. we need to be just as squeaky as thy are. start yelling. maybe the gnews will see a squirrel.

  10. VT and Athenae FTW!
    Damn skippy. The Dems need spines YET AGAIN!?!??!?!!! And they need to quit pissing their shorts ANY and EVERY time someone goes all Repugnant/Teabagger-snarky on them!
    Stand UP to the Bullies & Mean Girls! Damn, get all Ralphie on Scut Farkus’ ass for fuck’s sake!!!
    Or we’ll vote your asses out!

  11. I know this is all I seem to say these days, but: Schmucks.
    The problem in a nutshell. Who the hell wants to vote for schmucks?

  12. Nojo fromStinque nails it:
    “Yes, Mr. President, change is hard. It’s harder when your leaders won’t lead. It’s even harder when they welcome criticism one day, then ridicule those who offer it the next. We may be the people we’ve been waiting for, but with each passing day, each passing craven decision by you and your party, we’re finding it increasingly difficult to count you among us.”

  13. I voted for Obama, I have never voted for a conservative; however, thats what I got for my vote. Bottom line is: I only vote for liberals! Obama burnt me and I will not forgive him. If he wants my vote he will have to keep his promises and govern as a liberal.Does Obama not understand that no matter how conservative he governs the radical right will not vote for him and as he governs like a consevative neither will the liberals. A bird with one wing can at least fly in a circle. A bird with no left wing and no right wing drops like a stone.

  14. It is blythely refreshing to read someone saying what I see, but never seem to hear from the MSM. I wonder if they ever get tired of lying?
    Charlie, Obama’s only been president for 2 years. We gave W 8 to run the country into the ground. What really bugs me is – we lay out all the problems – the Republican owned media controls the message – and then we wonder why there is no pushback? Because they dominate the message and they control whatever we hear about the President. Obama is pushing but we have to push with him.
    You have to keep writing incisive posts like this one that cuts to the heart of what we feel.

  15. @ Virgotex
    You stay home.
    Get some more of the teatard wackos elected.
    Then you can sit around for the next two years bitching and whining while they hold impeachment hearings, and try to repeal anything and everything, and authorize bombing Iran, and put us even further in the shitter…
    That will show the ungrateful bastards, alright!
    Third, act like fucking DEMOCRATS.
    They are, don’t you think?
    Will Rogers #1: Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
    Will Roger #2: I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
    Not a whole lot has changed in 80 years.

  16. My enthusiasm is not so dampened that I didn’t scream “Oh Fuck you!!” to the tv when Robert Gibbs said I was going to go to the polls and vote for these insulting bastards despite their contempt for me and my progressive beliefs because I had no other choice.

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