Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig could be a charter member of the malakatude hall of fame, schmuck division. He was selected Commissioner because his fellow owners thought that they could control him. They were right. Bud has a weak chin and I bet his handshake feels like a dead fish and he has a spine like a jellyfish.
Selig has presided over some of the changes that baseball purists such as me dislike. My personal bete noir is the wild card and the LDS, which sounds like Mitt Haircut’s church to me, y’all. It’s too late in the year to be playing baseball: it was fucking cold in St Louis last night. Selig also played ostrich during the steroid era and then tried looking stern when it blew up in his pasty face. Bud is not only a malaka, he’s a serious fuckup. We won’t even go into the canceled World Series and the game’s obsessive focus on money, money, money during his tenure as the owner’s puppet.
I originally picked Buddy boy for this week’s “honor” because ofthis story at Deadspin.Selig initially refused to allow Dirk Nowitzki to throw out the first pitch at a Rangers home game during the Wolrd Series out of solidarity or some such shit with NBA owners during their lockout. Apparently, Buddy takes orders from David (the Hoops Napoleon) Stern too. Then, inclassic Bud Selig fashion, he flip floppedand Dirk the great will throw out that first pitch, after all. Selig is resolute in his irresolution. Buddy has a rare gift of bringing people together: former President Beavis and I agree on this one. Thanks, Buddy Malaka.
I won’t even go into Selig’s days as the owner of the Milwaukee Brewers. Doc knows a helluva lot more about that than I do. Suffice it to say that he had the wrong stuff there as well. Now that I think of it, Bud Selig is one of the luckiest people on theface of the earth, earth, earth: he’s not very bright and is a perrenial fuckup but has somehow failed his way into success. I’m not sure if that makes any sense but it does make Bud Selig malaka of the week.