Malaka Of The Week: Michael Burgess

Things take a literal turn with this week’s malaka of the week honoree, GOP Congressman Dr. Michael Burgess of Texas.He used to be an OB-GYN and used his, ahem, experience in that capacity to justify his support for the Trent (rape pregnancies are rare) Franks abortion ban bill:

“There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20-weeks after
conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the
chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be
setting this at 15-weeks, 16-weeks,” said the former OB/GYN during the
House Rules Committee debate on the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child
Protection Act.”

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they
have movements that are purposeful,” he continued. “They stroke their
face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their
legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they
could feel pain?”

Ooh, baby, literally. What about female fetuses, Dr. Malaka? Sounds like “sex selection” to me and I thought y’all were against that, Congressman. Hmm, I wonder if he ever saw any of the wanking fetuses smoking a cigarette after, uh, pleasuring themselves.

What is it with GOP politicians who used to be practicing physicians? They’re not only wingnuts, but they say crazy shit about medical matters all the damn time.Paul Broun, come on down.

When I was growing up, most doctors were Republicans for economic reasons, but that’s becoming less and less common all the time. Why? The GOP’s war on science, medicine, and common sense.

As a satirist, it’s great to have morons like Michael Burgess spouting nonsense on the House floor and elsewhere, but as a citizen it’s alarming. He’s like Louie Gohmert with an MD. Here’s the clip that made Michael Burgess malaka of the week:

12 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Michael Burgess

  1. Wait. Is he saying that fetuses masturbate??? I thought that was a sin in their eyes.
    These people are INSANE.

  2. It’s revealing because it indicates how much the GOP thinks 1) a fetus = a baby = a sentient child, and 2) how whenever they think about abortion, they think “sex”.
    Personally I suspect that whenever these men think about a woman’s pregnancy, they think “sex.” After all, that was the extent of their personal involvement with anyone’s pregnancy. Clearly none of them have had the experience of being pregnant, had the experience of spending time with someone else who was pregnant, or watched a premie not react to the insertion of an IV because the premature child’s nervous system wasn’t fully developed yet.

  3. @Diana: That’s what so weird about Burgess. He used to deliver babies but it doesn’t matter. He does indeed think sex only.

  4. “I thought that was a sin in their eyes.”
    Would this be original sin?
    And I second your motion, Brooklyn Girl, they are insane. Can I add the adjective batshit? Or bugfuck?

  5. Idiots like him make my vagina slam shut and lower the portcullis…
    When was the last time he was actively practicing? Is he still licensed?
    There’s just SOOOO much heinously wrong w/this sex-fiend view of fetuses… CREEPEH to the max!

  6. to paraphrase: “Mr. Burgess, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”

  7. Clearly, Burgess needs to be asked, in a public forum, whether he masturbates.
    Being a GOPtard in good standing, he’ll deny it vehemently.
    Which will make him a candidate for a well-deserved post-natal abortion.

  8. D’ya think that maybe he went to the school that taught Frist how to do neurology by videotape?

  9. Burgess is an OB/GYN, so perhaps he nevers saw a newborn after he walked out of the delivery room. If he had, he would have noticed that newborn babies don’t play with their genitals AFTER they are born. In fact, they don’t do anything purposeful with their hands until they are a few months old.
    I remember being really excited the first time I saw my daughter using her hands to grasp something. She was a few months old (and it wasn’t her crotch).
    So why would fetuses be masturbating inside the womb? I imagine it’s pretty boring in there, but still…

  10. Yanno those stories that go around among women about creepy OB/Gyn doctors that no one should ever ever go to?
    There are a number of them in congress.

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