It’s Not About You

This nails it, almost: 

But what all these issues, no matter how gigantically separated an Esquire puff piece and a Tennessee mother’s jailing for meth may seem, reflect back at us: How, in this country, every barometer by which female worth is measured—from the superficial to the life-altering, the appreciative to the punitive—has long been calibrated to “dude,” whether or not those measurements are actually being taken by dudes. Men still run, or at bare minimum have shaped and codified the attitudes of, the churches, the courts, the universities, the police departments, the corporations that so freely determine women’s worth. As Beyoncé observed last year, “Money gives men power to run the show. It gives men the power to define value. They define what’s sexy. And men define what’s feminine. It’s ridiculous.” 

Because it's not even that assessments of women's lives are up to men. It's that they're up to everybody else. Men, other women, politicians, courts, everybody. Everybody else. 

We think it's up to us whether another woman's child can play alone in a park. We think it's up to us whether another woman should stay home or go to work. We think it's up to us whether another woman should have an abortion, whether somebody should buy a particular brand of cereal with food stamps, whether somebody should drink or swear or dance or date or get married or not get married or bone another dude or adopt some kids or not adopt any kids. 

We think we should have the right to an opinion about our neighbor, about the man who runs the church choir, about Octomom and Casey Anthony and every other goddamn thing. We think we should get to comment on it. We think we should get to talk about it. We think this is what passes for being involved in the world and engaged in society.  

When it's not about you, #notallmen. It's not about you, MRAs. It's not about you, Princeton Mom. It's not about you, Hobby Lobby. It's not about you, Katie Couric and NANCY FUCKING GRACE. If it's not about you then it's not about you, how we act and how we dress and who we see and who we screw and where we work.

And don't get in my face about your tax dollars because if you can't see how this protects you more than it endangers you I got nothin' for you and head back to camp. It's not about you at all. You don't need to be here for this meeting. You're not on the agenda and your advice is not being solicited. Leave now, and on your way out take a long deep drink at the fountain of shut the fuck up. 


3 thoughts on “It’s Not About You

  1. Excellent post. Excellent. Excellent.
    I’m tempted to say “I love it when you get angry”. But that might be misinterpreted.

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