I’m not only a connoisseur of trashy, sleazy pulp fiction but I’m immediately drawn to anything with swamp in the title. I must admit to not knowing what a hoyden is. Here’s the definition according to Merriam-Webster online:  “a girl or woman of saucy, boisterous, or carefree behavior.” Its origin “perhaps from obsolete Dutch heiden country lout, from Middle Dutch, heathen; akin to Old English hǣthen heathen.”

I just wanted to be open with y’all and establish once and for all that I’m not hoyden anything, not even from Eric Heiden: