As a broadcaster, Luke Russert has all of his famous father’s flaws and few, if any, of his virtues. It reminds me of Jim Hightower’s classic zinger at Poppy Bush’s expense: “He was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple.” That’s Prince Luke in a nutshell. Make that a wingnut shell, since he’s gone hog wild for pig castrating Iowa Senator-elect Joni Ernst. And that is why Prince Luke is malaka of the week.
NBC dispatched Russert to cover the Iowa Senate campaign in the closing days of the race. In the manner peculiar to the MSM, he became an instant expert on Iowa politics and folkways. He also began to swoon over, and croon about, Crazy Joni:
“That’s what Democrats have been trying to push here in the last few hours, that Joni Ernst is against you on the issues. Unfortunately, where she’s beating Bruce Braley, this idea of who cares more about people like you. Joni Ernst’s charisma, her momentum seems to be giving her a little bit of an edge right now as we head into the final day.”
Crazy Joni rode her Russert approved charisma and Big Mo, as Poppy Bush christened it back in 1980, to victory despite views that sound cribbed from the John Birch Society. That’s right, Joni Ernst used to talk about posse comitatus and second amendment solutions. But that doesn’t matter because she’s a “charismatic” veteran. Perhaps that’s why she’s so damn good at camouflaging her extreme views. Ernst and Cory Gardner ought to form the tea party mole caucus since the MSM swallowed their spin. My post-election day hangover is returning. I had it even though I only had 2 beers whilst watching the returns. I can be a restrained motherfucker when I want to be.
Once Ernst won the election and declared Merica the “greatest country in the history of mankind,” Malaka Russert’s knees buckled and the swooning intensified:
“She will be a force to be reckoned with. A lot of people are gonna want her endorsement in Iowa when they run for President in 2016. She could be a kingmaker, not only because of her veteran experience and being a female, because of what state she’ll represent. Someone to keep an eye on, for sure.”
For sure, dude. Prince Luke often sounds like, like, like a frat boy with his “gonnas” and “for sures.” At least he doesn’t always add dude to the latter term, I guess that makes him a preppie frat boy, which is a distinction without a difference. Whatever, dude.
The day after the election, Russert the younger’s crush on Senator-elect Ernst had ripened into true love:
“Joni Ernst is gonna go to Washington and she, I think it’s fair to say, is the crown jewel of this class of Senate Republicans.”
I’d like to thank TPM’s Tom Kludt for watching this bozo and counting how many times (3 and, uh, counting thus far) he called a woman,whose previous claim to fame was the hog castrating ad, the “jewel in the crown.” So, Joni Ernst is to the GOP class of 2014 what India was to the British Empire? Who knew? She’s certainly not like Indians when it comes to hog butchering and pork eating. She doesn’t remind me of any of the characters in Paul Scott’s Raj Quartet or the great teevee series based on it, The Jewel In The Crown. I’d be willing to wager folding money that neither Malaka Luke nor his love object has ever heard of it. But it’s a phrase that sounds good on the cable news noise machine even if it’s fundamentally nonsensical.
I know many of our readers dislike Russert the elder because of the way he rolled over and played dead during the roll-out of the Bush the younger’s war. I get that but, unlike his son, he was a mixed bag who was capable of asking tough questions and doing some nut cutting along the way. I have a lingering fondness for Papa Bear because of his demolition of David Dukkke during the 1991 Louisiana Governor’s race. Baby Bear, however, wouldn’t know a tough question if it bit him in the ass. And he shares his father’s penchant for insiderism and repeating the CW during campaigns. Actually, Russert the elder was one of those journos who created and lovingly fostered the echo chamber that is the CW. Russert the younger merely repeats cliches without seeming to understand them. That is the essence of malakatude, pundit style.
I like to joke that I’m a fan of nepotism and cronyism, at least when I benefit from either. It is, however, disturbing when it involves someone like Luke Russert who was hired by NBC News in the wake of his father’s death and has continued to rise like a very yeasty loaf of bread or some such shit. If he were any good at his job, it wouldn’t bother me but he’s just another political reporter who wouldn’t know substance if it slapped him in the face and called him sonny boy. And that is why Luke Russert is malaka of the week.
All of this talk of pigs and jewels in the crown has given me a Tom hankering for bacon and Fairport Convention: