Album Art Cover Wednesday: Bad Christmas Covers

There are a lot of very bad Christmas album covers out there. This is my scattershot look at them. I’m not going to rate them and I’m too lazy and insufficiently masochistic to do any research. Here they are without further adieu:


That horn has got a lot of Ed Balls. I wonder if they William Hung any of them on the tree? I’ll let you know after the break.


Poor Andrew Ridgely. Wasn’t it bad enough to be George Michael’s sidekick? They had to make the poor bastard a reindeer. I hope no Norwegian tried to eat him. That would not be Whamtastic. Speaking of disturbing:


I’m not sure I want to know what’s going on there. That was by far the creepiest cover I ran into. Time for some reassuring tackiness after that ickiness:


Life was hard for the Stooges in the post Curley and Shemp era. It was always hard for Larry Fine.

Finally, here’s one for all the Lee Majors fans out there:


That made me look for a Big Valley Christmas album but, mercifully, none exists. Majors played Heath Bar the bastard son of the dead patriarch. (Yeah, I know it was Barkeley but candy bar jokes go over big during the holidays.) Who would have the Ed Balls to cheat on Barbara Stanwyck? They obviously never saw The Strange Love Of Martha Ivers.

Finally, the #hostilidays have moved from the blogosphere to the Tweeter Tube. This tune is my latest contribution. It’s an ecumenically bad send up of the Mariah Carey song that I found at Ken Levine’s blog. If you hate it, blame Ken not me: